Jennie looked across the room at the person kneeling in front of her - her arms outstretched, her chest heaving with emotion.
Lisa had used the same words she said to Jennie the first time she proposed - or almost the same - but the expression on Lisa's face bore no resemblance. She was livid with anger. Taunting Jennie. Look, she was saying with her eyes. Look at what you could have had back then. Look at what you threw away.
As if Jennie needed reminding. As if she'd never wondered what could have been, if she'd stayed with Lisa all those years ago. As if she'd never lay awake, tortured with regret, every time she stood by at another friend's wedding - watching another one float away down the aisle into her happily-ever-after.
Jennie snapped the ring box closed and jerked her hand away as if she had burned it, letting the box and its contents fall to the floor. They both followed its descent with their eyes, watching it hit the carpet and bounce once, twice, before coming to rest at her feet.
Lisa dropped her arms to her sides in defeat. She lifted her eyes to meet Jennie's again, but she merely shook her head before turning without a word and heading toward the bedroom.
"Jennie!" she called after her. "Goddammit Jennie!"
She had already hoisted her suitcase onto the bed and was hastily throwing her things inside when Lisa came into the room.
"What?" Lisa said to her turned back. "You're not even going to give me an answer?"
"If you think yelling at me is the way to get me to say yes..."
"Well I tried the nice romantic way before and that didn't get me very far, did it?"
"Just... goodbye." Jennie moved across the room to gather an armful of clothes hanging up in the closet.
"Where are you going?"
"Airport."
"Jennie..."
She held up a hand to silence Lisa. "I need to go home now." Jennie heard the quaver in her voice as she spoke, and she cursed herself for her weakness. She would not cry, she silently commanded herself. No matter what Lisa said. No matter how much it hurt. She would not let Lisa see her cry.
Lisa watched for a moment as she continued throwing her things into her suitcase. All the anger she'd felt a moment ago was draining away now as the realisation of what she'd just done hit her with full force. She was supposed to take another week. Woo Jennie. Set the mood. Pick the perfect moment. Say the perfect words. Not this. Not like this. She was supposed to have another week.
She walked over to the bed and put her hand on top of the open suitcase, blocking Jennie from putting in the clothing she was trying to pack.
"Come on," Lisa said. "It's almost midnight. No one's going to the airport tonight."
"Then I'll go to a hotel."
"You're in a hotel."
"Then I'll go to another one!"
"Jennie, please..." Lisa broke off, her voice shaking as she reached out and put her hand on Jennie's wrist. Jennie looked up at her in surprise and saw Lisa's eyes red-rimmed now with the same misery she was trying so desperately to hold back. She couldn't control it any longer - not when she saw it reflected back on Lisa's own face - and she felt herself crumple as the tears began to fall.
"Jennie," Lisa whispered. "Jennie, Jennie." Lisa sat down on the bed and gathered Jennie into her arms. She buried her face into the crook of Lisa's neck as the uncontrolled sobs began to rack her body.
"I'm sorry," Lisa whispered. "Oh, Jennie, I'm sorry. That's not how it was supposed to go."
"It doesn't matter," Jennie choked out.
"Please don't go. I didn't mean it to come out that way."
"It doesn't matter," Jennie repeated, her voice a little steadier now. "It doesn't matter how it came out. It's too late."
"No, it's not."
She pulled her tear-streaked face away from Lisa's shoulder and looked up at her. "Yes, it is, Lisa."
"No," Lisa said, squeezing Jennie's body against hers. "No, it's not. It's not. It's not. It's not." She chanted the words, and it almost made Jennie smile to see the look on Lisa's face - like a small child refusing to accept the fact that it's past her bedtime.
Jennie shifted her weight so that she was sitting more squarely in Lisa's lap, and she felt calmer as she curled her body against Lisa. "You can't force a square peg into a round hole," she said to Lisa softly.
Lisa buried her face in the hair on top of her head, and Jennie felt her take in a long, shaky breath before she replied. "I won't let you do this."
She started to shake her head, but Lisa continued speaking before she could interrupt. "I won't," she said. "I can't. I can't go back to what my life was like without you in it."
"Lisa..."
"You can't either," Lisa continued, her face still pressed to the top of Jennie's head. "You think you can just get on a plane and fly home and pretend like none of this ever happened, but you can't. You can't go back. You love me. I know you do. You never stopped, did you? Not for one single day. You just told yourself you stopped, but it wasn't true."
"It's too late," Jennie said again, but Lisa kept going as if she hadn't spoken, her words picking up speed as she continued.
"You know it wasn't true. How long are you going to go on lying to yourself? Your whole life? It's not going to work, Jennie. You had me fooled for a while there, but I know the truth now. I won't let you pretend anymore that you're not in love with me."
"I don't want to be in love with you."
"Well that's too bad because you are! And you're not going to throw that away. I won't let you. If it were just you - just your own life at stake - I don't know, maybe I would let you throw it away. But it's my life too. And I need you. Do you understand? I can't live the rest of my life like I'm a 23 year old. I'm ready to be a grown-up now. I'm ready to wear blazers to dinner. I'm ready to be tired and head home by ten o'clock at night. I'm ready to buy a real house with more than one bedroom. I want five bedrooms. Six bedrooms. I want to fill it up with kids. I'm ready for all of that."
"But that's not your life!" Jennie protested. "You can say all that, Lisa, but you know that's not your life. Not really. Your life is parties and club-hopping and swimsuit models plopping themselves into your lap..."
"I didn't want to go clubbing," Lisa argued. "I hate that shit. We went to the club because you wanted to go."
"Me?"
"I just wanted to stay home and play Scrabble."
