The Loving Silence

Chapter 46

"Injured?" Rick asked, his voice full of fearful tension. He was holding his breath awaiting her response.

"I'm sorry?" Elena raised her head and met his gaze.

"You said he was injured?" Arlo clarified.

"Yes, but he seemed to be healing. They weren't the kind of injuries you just brush off though. And his arms," she closed her eyes and shuddered. "I am glad he had his friends with him. They seemed to really cherish him."

"Do you know where he is staying? Or where was going after your meeting?"

She looked at him funny, "I didn't ask. I mean no disrespect, but as his friends, shouldn't you know where he lives?"

It was uncomfortably quiet in the room. They didn't know what to say to that, because they knew she was right. If Rue wanted them to know, he would have told them. He hadn't, and there was no sign of him having just forgotten to. It hadn't slipped his mind to fill Rick in on what life-altering stuff was going on in his life. He had made a conscious decision not to say anything.

Was it really right for them to go behind his back like this and try to figure things out on their own? It felt like they were trying to hold onto and shackle someone who had already let them go. Nothing lasts forever, and some people are only visitors in your life, while some are meant to take up residence in your soul. Could it be that it was time for them to let Rue go?

***

On the way back, neither one of them knew what to say. Was it really over? Or was this just a break? With everything they'd learned today, it was clear Rue had a lot going on. Could they really blame him for not making them a priority when his life seemed to be unravelling at the seams?

They felt bad they weren't there with him, but perhaps they had been hanging on to him too hard. His world had been awfully small with only them and his art in it. It would be unkind not to want more for him. And it would be just as unkind to begrudge him other friendships, other experiences in life. Rue deserved a big life, and rather than standing in his way, trying to stop him, constrain him, the healthier option would be to wish him well and be there waiting for him when he came back.

Rue had always reminded Rick more of an animal than man, and he was by no means a pet. Even though it had been easy for Rick to treat him that way. He liked having him close and he enjoyed being depended on. But the truth, what scared him the most, was that deep down he knew Rue could fend for himself. He knew Rue didn't need him to survive. That was just something he had been telling himself to make himself feel good. It felt good to be someone's rock. To have someone be so attached to you that you felt like their world.

It was time to realise that the ones he needed to care for was his child and his wife, in that order. His child would be defenceless and they would need to depend on him completely, which was just what Rick needed. He didn't like to admit it, but it was his own insecurities that led to his desire to be relied upon. To him, if the people in his life did not rely on him, then they did not need him. And sooner rather than later, they would leave. That did mean he sometimes held on too tight, but Penelope was showing him the way. She was teaching him that he had to hold on just enough. Not too tight, or the other person might feel trapped. Or too loose, or they might feel like you don't care for them at all.

Unlike his unborn child, his wife was strong and independent. Stronger than him a lot of the time. He had to give her room to do her own thing. Make sure that he wasn't trying to solve her problems for her, but that he instead was there to listen and help if she wanted him to. Just like with a child learning to do things on their own, you have to accept that other people's pace may not be the same as yours. You have to be patient and let them go at their own pace, live their own life.