The Loving Silence

Chapter 4

Rue's heart was thundering in his chest. He was grateful for Rick's arm around his shoulders, or he might've disassociated completely. It was just... it was his space, and every part of it was filled with him. You could see his habits, how he lived his life, what mattered to him, and most of all, his art. He was relieved they weren't mad at him, but for some reason, the reality of the situation came to him all at once, and when all the attention turned to him, his anxiety kicked in. Several people were in his small space, looking to him for instructions. And he was asking too much of them, he felt, whether they were angry with him or not. And that made him even more anxious.

Displaying his work in Rick's restaurant made it easier to deal with his anxiety over showing others his designs. He knew he had to overcome that fear if he wanted to make a living on his art, as Rick had painstakingly explained to him numerous times. It was no longer an issue, but this was another situation. He didn't know them as well as he knew Rick, but if he was being honest with himself, that wasn't the issue.

The issue...

Well, to be frank, it was Arlo. Standing close to him was already enough to make his system go haywire, but having him in his space, the home where he lived and created, where he slept and ate, was different. It wasn't that he didn't want him there.

Actually... it was the complete opposite.

He didn't want him to leave. The minute he saw Arlo standing there by the large living room windows while Rue was doing an inventory of sorts earlier, he didn't feel scared. Arlo had looked so small as he was surrounded by tall shelves filled to the brim with drying designs. Rue had actually felt so relieved that he could cry. But he couldn't understand why. Despite how hard he tried to avoid him, there was just something about having Arlo there that made him feel utterly at peace. It felt as if the last piece of the puzzle had fallen into place. And that made him anxious. He knew nothing lasted. He knew them as a couple could never be, and yet...

"This is amazing," Arlo breathed before Rue had thought out a reply to John.

Rue turned bright red, quickly turned his back to the rest so only Rick could see his face, and nodded. He missed the disappointment that flickered across Arlo's face, the shine in his eyes as he saw him turn away from him. Arlo worried that the way he missed Rue speaking to him earlier was the cause of his behaviour, and he felt rejected. It was another step back in their non-existent relationship. Internally he was chastising himself over it, even though that meant being caught up in his own thoughts again. And once more, he was missing what the others were saying.

"He says thank you," Rick said as he took a step forward and rested Rue's face on his shoulder, patting his back. He knew his friend was awkward and terribly sweet, and he also knew that he had to get past his insecurities if he were ever to find his own happiness. Not just workwise, but Rick wanted nothing more than to see Rue confident, loved and in love. He knew first-hand how that could change a person and how nothing was as healing as being unconditionally loved by someone else. He wanted that for his friend.

Bo bumped Arlo's shoulder just in time to hear Rick speak. Bo was physically fit and didn't quite know his strength, so he bumped him a little too hard. Not that Arlo would admit it hurt, though. He didn't want to look weak in front of Rue or his boss. With his thick, short hair, dark blue eyes, and wide chin, Bo was a handsome fellow, though he was also very kind, so Arlo wasn't cross with him. Even so, Arlo did not need Bo to look any better or stronger in front of Rue.

Though disappointed that he wasn't the one standing there holding Rue, Arlo could still feel his skin tingle after having held on to Rue in the car. It was a brief touch, but it carried so much meaning. Unbeknownst to Arlo, it had carried meaning for Rue as well. But unfortunately, neither could imagine their feelings for the other were reciprocated. They both firmly believed a relationship with the other was an impossibility.