The Fluffy Sofa ✔️

Date: Sunday 12th September 2021

I ran. I ran as fast as I could as soon as I managed to escape the hands of Uncle Zane. I pulled out my phone and called Fin. Nothing came out of my mouth apart from some sort of explanation as to where I was. It was already 10 oclock which meant that Uncle Zane had me for 2 hours. Just the mere thought of what actually happened caused my stomach to churn and I vomited in a nearby bush.

My whole body burned in ways it shouldn't burn. My skin was already bruising around my wrists from where he pinned me down. Tears formed in my eyes causing me to break down. I pulled out my phone and called Fin. No words generated. Hearing his voice made me cry even more. I managed to spit out the words 'wooden park' as I noticed the park entrance just a few feet away.

It felt like hours since I called him and the memories of what Zane did to me circled around and around my head, making me dizzy and more nauseous. Just as my body was about to hit the ground, Fin's arms embraced me.

He asked me what was wrong. What had happened. I tried to tell him. I just showed him my wrists and lifted up my top slightly to reveal huge bruises where Zane punched me into some sort of compliance. Zane, I said.

Before I knew it, I was being put into an ambulance and being told I had to give a police statement. I couldn't believe that it had happened to me. That I willingly walked into Zane's house and got myself into this mess. But should I have been blissfully ignorant and pretended that he didn't rape my mum and he didn't rape me for years? Or was I right to confront him?

I can't believe I used my journal to write to him. To pretend I had some sort of connection with him. How naive of me. How did my brain let me forget what had happened to me over the years? Why did it take for him to rape me while I was conscious to remember everything? What a disappointment I have been.

We got to the hospital where they ran all sorts of tests including a rape kit where, I'm assuming, they took some DNA and stuff. I blanked out quite a lot during the time I was there. They asked about me giving a police statement but I told them I needed time to let things sink in. I was in shock and the nurses were so nice to me. I think I cried a million times while they were doing the tests and bandaging me up - turns out he'd somehow cut my thighs.

My mum turned up with Felix and she looked terrified once she laid eyes on me. I could see in her eyes that she blamed herself. The guilt was rattling in her head. I reached my arms out and she ran to hug me. We cried together whilst Felix stood with Fin, where they awkwardly greeted each other.

He did it before mum. He did it for years but I just couldn't remember. I am so sorry. I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry.

I couldn't remember getting home, however I woke up this morning in my own bed, surrounded by my fluffy cushions and I immediately wanted to scream. The fluffiness scared me. It reminded me of him and his rape sofa. I launched all things fluffy towards the corner of my room and once everything was stripped I felt better. I began to calm down.

As I stood up from the bed I could feel every injury he caused me. I looked at myself in the mirror. My body looked foreign as it sported huge purple bruises. You could almost see the outlines of his fingers on my arms. I felt hideous and completely broken.

My door cracked open and there he was. I screamed so loud, I frightened myself doing it. It was my dad. It wasn't Zane. I began to cry again because I was still angry at my dad for having the weird agreement with mum and Zane, but I just needed a hug. So we did. And I passed out from exhaustion, in my dad's arms where he cried silently into my hair.

What have I caused? 

{author's note: hi all! please follow me if you're enjoying this as I have many ideas for other stories that you'll not want to miss out on! thank you!}