The Fluffy Sofa ✔️

Date: Friday 17th September 2021

{content warning: self harm}

Something fucking weird happened. Like I can't even explain it; it doesn't make sense on how it happened. So Zane was arrested right? He admitted to abusing me and essentially making child porn. That meant that he was going to go down for a pretty long time. Right? So get this, he was being transferred to a facility where they were going to do some tests on him because apparently some red flags were raised and they think he's suffering from some sort of mental issue.

Bullshit I say. Some people, yes, suffer from mental illness which causes them to do certain awful things, however, Zane is not one of them. He is just pure evil right to the bone.

Anyway, he fucking escaped! It was just him in the back of the police van with two police officers riding in the front. They stopped at a red light and suddenly a few guys smashed the back door open and helped him escape. Literally crazy shit. Straight out of a movie, crazy shit.

So he's on the run. The police have arranged for a drive by check every two hours to make sure everything is okay. I think it's a bit over the top because really, Zane isn't going to come for me. He's going to run as far away as he can. But I guess they can do what they wanna do to think they're helping in some way.

I feel like I'm being held prisoner. I was so glad to get to the weekend after the hellish time I had at school but then this happens. Like thanks Zane. You wanker. I seriously thought that with the confession and the handing over the videos that he was fully complying with the police. I never in a million years thought he would get someone to help him escape. So now because of him, I'm sitting in my room by myself on a Friday night as the police said I'm probably safer staying in for the time being. Such bullshit.

I stared at myself in the mirror and the person who stared back at me wasn't me. She looked like a completely different person. Her eyes were sunken in from restless, nightmare-filled nights. Her ribs were starting to show from the lack of appetite and the nausea that came when she did eat. Her thighs were filled with bright red pinching marks. Some drew blood.

I knew it was a bad idea but as soon as I saw the pair of scissors sitting on my bedside table, the idea became real and suddenly the best idea. I grabbed them and held them against my skin. The cold blade slowly penetrated my thigh as I pulled it across the already marked skin. Blood, hot and thick, trickled out of the wound and a rush of endorphins flew through my body. I did it again. And again. And again. I did it until my phone vibrated, releasing me from the harm that I was inflicting on myself. I grabbed a dirty shirt from under my bed and wrapped it around my thigh. The pain began to sink in. The endorphins dissipated. I was left with sharp stinging pains radiating through my leg. I had to ignore it as I picked up my phone and saw a message.

It was from Jakob. Strange. It said that Fin's phone had died but they were all at a friend's house and they wanted to see me. And not to message Tilly because he wanted it to be a surprise if I came.

I thought fuck it. I replied to him that I'll be about an hour because I needed to get the bus but he replied back that he'd just passed his driving test so he'll come and get me. Nice. I thanked him and said I'll get ready and sneak out the flat.

I pulled open my drawer which had a little first aid kit in it and found some dressing that was perfect for me to wrap around my thigh in place of the shirt. My heart was beating pretty fast at the complete and utter stupidity that just occurred. But I did it and there was no going back.

So I got ready and I am now waiting for Jakob to come get me.