Divine

20

Thantophobia
(n.) fear of losing someone you love

I can't do it. I can't do this.

"Divine" I turn to face her only for her to already be looking at me with sad eyes. "I can't do this" We stood in the airport, waiting for my flight which should be boarding in about twenty minutes.

I don't want to be apart from her.

"Baby it's only for this plane ride then a few hours then we will see each other again" She tells me.

No.

I began to panic as my breathing increases. "I don't want to be without you." I tell her as I shake my head no. "We get to New York and what if—" She cuts me off by pulling me into her arms and hugging me tight.

I have always loved her hugs, even when we were younger. She gives the best hugs, it was those type were they are so warm and you just don't want to let go.

"I love you and I love you enough to try my best to make this work Mae. You are going to get on that plane and then you go home and relax some before coming to my place tomorrow. We will be okay Mae, I promise you that."

"It just feels like we are in the honeymoon phase and once we return to New York, everything will be different." I admit shakily as I bury my face in her chest.

"Baby" She called out to me but I continue to shake my head and move out of her arms.

Tears streaming down my face as I choke back a sob. I look around the airport and sighed, sucking in a breath. "I'm just scared" I finally admit. I been scared for a while but I been trying to keep a strong face for Divine because I know she's scared.

I know, stupid of me huh

"I'm scared too baby but let's be scared together okay? We can work through this together and make this relationship happen okay?"

I nod my head and let her wipe my tears before kissing my forehead gently. "It's going to be okay baby" She whispers to me and her arms tighten around me.

"I know and I love you" I tell her.

"I love you more baby"

I grin and shake my head no. "That's just impossible." I tell her and we pull away and both let out big sighs of air.

God that is going to be hard.

When I get to New York, I'm heading home first and picking up my dog, Para which is short for Paradise. She's a husky mixed with a pomeranian and honestly the best dog I ever had.

I left her with one of my friend's—Adria—who happens to love my dog more than me. She always is gushing over Para like she was her own. She had a dog but it died a year ago due to a car accident. She never really got over it but I'm glad she is finding comfort in Para at least.

She is also going to be picking me up from the airport which I can't wait for because in all honesty, I missed her crazy self. We met when I first moved to New York a few years ago and instantly clicked. She was the considered the boss of one of my old jobs but she always had a soft spot for me.

It's because I'm the best.

When I left that job, Adria and I made sure to keep in contact and she even helped me get my job at the publishing house two years ago. I always will be thankful that she did that.

"When we get settled and everything, I want you to meet Adria one of my New York best friends." I say making her immediately smile and nod her head.

"Of course baby I'll love to"

I look around the airport again before realizing Brandon was long gone making me frown in confusion. "Where's Brandon?"

She chuckled and shook her head lowly. "He said he didn't want to be anywhere near us while we wait for your flight. He claims that we are 'disgusting love sick motherfuckers'."

I laugh and roll my eyes lightly. "He's just jealous"

She pecked my lips and nodded her head. "Definitely baby"

"Fight 324 to New York is now boarding. Please make your way to A43" Is sound through the speakers and I sigh deeply.

"That's me" I mumble making her nod head and bring me in for another hug.

"I love you baby" She tells me making me grin sadly and kiss her arm—that is within my reach— gently.

"I love you more"

"I'll see you soon okay?" I nod my head and we pull apart from the hug. I grab my suitcases and pick up my bag.

"Fight 324 to New York is now boarding. Please make your way to A43" it repeats making me roll my eyes and lean over to kiss her lips softly.

"I'll miss you" I whisper to her and pull away only to turn around and start walking to my gate which is only a couple feet away.

"I miss you already!" I heard her say behind me but I don't turn around because I know if I do then I will never get on that plane. I give the lady my boarding pass and suck a shaky breath in as she clears me to head inside.

Don't look back.

Don't look back.

Don't look—Fuck it

I turn around and see as Divine stares at me with tears streaming from her eyes as she raised her hand up to wave at me. I wanted to run into her arms but that will only make things worse, so instead I fold my hands into a heart and blew her kiss. She did it back making me smile and turn around, heading inside and walking toward the plane.

New York, here I come.