Tonight is our Secret// A Lashton AU

thirty-seven

"Luke you're a fucking idiot."

Michael sat back in his chair when I finished talking and that was the first thing either of them said.

"What?" I was confused.

Calum shook his head. "Luke you're our best friend. And we love you. Why the hell would you think for a second that you dating a dude would change our opinions?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "I was scared."

"Luke you're such a shit head." Michael sighed. "We love you no matter who you love."

I nodded. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Calum asked.

"Everything."

"Sorry for being in love? That's not a reason to be sorry. You want to know who you should be saying you're sorry to?"

"Ashton. I know. But I have no clue where he is." I sighed.

Michael furrowed his eyebrows.

"Did you say Ashton?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"And you said he lives in Sydney?"

"Yeah he does."

"Do you mean Ashton Irwin, Luke?"

My eyes widened. "Yeah. Do you know him?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I do. And know where he lives too."

"How?"

"Met him a while back. Nice guy."

"Well would you like to tell me where? So I could you know, go tell him I love him and win him back maybe?"

"Yeah sure. Here I'll text you the address so you can put it in your phone." Michael pulled out his phone then mine vibrated. I pulled it out of my pocket.

"Thanks so much you guys. For everything."

"No problem man. Now go! Get your man back!"

I thanked them again before heading out the door.

"Luke wait!" I turned back to see my dad standing in the doorway. "Take my car." He tossed his keys to me and I smiled.

"Thanks dad. I don't know when I'll be back so don't wait up."

I got into his car and set up my phone so I knew where I'd be going.

It took me 15 minutes to get there and when I pulled up to the house my heart was racing. I got out and walked up to the door then rang the doorbell.

When it opened a moment later, a blonde women was standing there.

"What can I do for you?" She asked with a smile on her face.

"Um, hi. Is Ashton home?"

The look on her face changed. And before she could say anything, someone else did for her.

"Yeah. Right here."

I looked past who I assumed was his mother and there he was. Standing right there. He stepped forward.

"Can we have a minute mum?" She hesitated but nodded then walked away. He didn't say anything at first but he looked at me. Not a welcoming look. "Why are you here Luke?"

He looked sad. His eyes were red and they had bags under them. And he looked so tired. Like he hadn't slept in days. There were tear stains on his cheeks which broke my heart because I was the cause of those tears.

I wanted to hug him. I wanted to wrap my arms around him so tight and never let him go again. I wanted to kiss him and tell him I loved him. I just wanted to be with him again and I would tell him every day. I would tell him I love him every day and I would tell anyone I could that I love him.

"I told them." Is what I said instead.

"You told who what?" He asked. His voice was flat which made me feel even worse.

"I told my parents. And Calum and Michael. About you. About us."

"About us? Luke we aren't 'us' anymore." That was like a stab to the heart but I knew it was true.

"I know." I mumbled.

"And you think that I'm just going to hug you and kiss you and tell you I love you now? Did you really think that you could just tell them now and everything would be okay again? That it'd be like this never happend? Because its too late Luke. You had your chance and you blew it. You had many chances actually. And you wasted all of them. It's too late Luke."

His words made me flinch. But i nodded.

"I know it is. But I figured you would like to know."

"Like to know what? That in order for you to do what would make both of us happier I have to break up with you? Because I'm pretty sure that is not how a healthy relationship works."

"I know but I needed to. I had to at least do something. And I'm sorry that I didn't do it sooner. Really I am. I should have listened to you the first time. And I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you if it have to. Even if you ignore me. Even if you hate me for the rest of your life. I will devote the rest of my life trying to make it up to you and I will apologize every single day if I have to. You don't have to take me back. But I need to know you've forgiven me. I can't bear to live knowing that I did such a stupid thing to the person I loved and you haven't forgiven me."

It took him a moment to register everything I said. But when he did I didn't expect him to comment on what he did.

"You said loved."

"What?" I asked.

"You said loved. As in past tense."

I was silent and had to decide on if I should say the next thing that I did. But I went for it.

"I love you Ashton. It's not past tense. It's present. It's now. I love you now. You're my first love. And I'm probably never going to stop loving you. There will always be part of me that still loves you. Even though you don't love me I will always love you."

"Luke." He stopped me. "Luke I love you."

~

Hey guys. In 11 hours and 24 minutes 5ONTHEWALL will be over so whatever is happening will be happening

And three chapters left oh god I'm sad about that

Anyways

Goodnight

-ash