Tonight is our Secret// A Lashton AU

thirty-three

Michael and Calum walked into the lobby 15 minutes after me. I was sitting in one of the chairs on my phone when I heard them walk in. At first they were just mumbling but then Michael must have noticed me.

"Well look at that! Luke beat us to the lobby. Never thought I'd see the day." Michael said as they walked over to me. I looked up at them finally and they were smiling but as soon as they saw my face, they stopped. "Hey what's wrong?"

I shrugged. "Just homesick I guess."

Calum sat down beside me. "Luke you had the opportunity to go he for two weeks." His voice was soft and soothing. I sighed.

"Yeah I know."

Calum stood up again. "Okay well its 12 and I'm hungry. Let's go eat okay?" I stood up, nodding and just as I did the elevator doors opened and Ashton stepped out.

"Yeah. Okay." I said as I looked at him. And he heard me speak. Because he looked right at me as soon as I spoke and his eyes weren't angry. They were sad. He glared a little then walked towards the door.

And I should have stopped him. I should have ran up to him and kissed him right there in front of Calum and Michael. But I didnt.

Instead I followed Michael and Calum towards the door with Ashton standing right in front of them. He didn't look back but I almost wish he had.

But the four of us just kept walking. Only two of us really knowing.

As soon as we all stepped out of the building we went our separate ways. Ashton pushed through the girls who were trying to get to us. They didn't care about Ashton. They should have. If they really knew who he was they would. Who he was to me.

The three of us stepped into our van and I could still see the top of Ashton's head. I watched him until he dissappeared.

--

I thought about him all day. He didn't leave my mind once. He was mad at me and probably still was. I was mad at first but I cooled down. I could see where he was coming from and I was still annoyed but I wasn't mad. Hopefully he wasn't either.

At 6 the three of us went out for dinner then went back to the hotel. As soon as I got into my room Ashton texted me.

From: Ash
You at the hotel?

To: Ash
Yeah why?

From: Ash
I'm coming over

I didn't reply but sighed and sat down on a chair right in front of the bed. He sounded like he was still mad. Hopefully we could work everything out when he came over.

There was a knock on my door 10 minutes later. When I opened it, Ashton had his arms crossed and wore the same blank but angry expression as when he left the hotel that morning. He pushed past me and sat down on the bed. I kept my eyes on him as I closed the door then I walked over and sat in the small chair by the bed.

"I'm still mad." He told me, face unchanging.

"I can tell."

Ashton glared at me then sighed. He didn't say anything for a moment.

"You know I meant what I said. And I know it was uncalled for. And I'm sorry that I said it the way I did. I know it's probably not easy but I think, your parents could accept you. Couldn't they?" His voice softened.

They could. And they would. I knew that, but I was still afraid.

"I-" I didn't know what to tell him. I wanted him to be happy and I wanted to be happy with him but I was so scared. "I don't know. I guess."

"Luke I've never met your parents but I bet they're pretty great and I bet they'll love you no matter what." He took one of my hands in his.

"How can you know that?"

"I don't Luke. Maybe your parents are complete assholes who hate you. I can't know."

"They aren't assholes."

"So they'd probably accept you then."

I sighed. "Yeah they would."

"So what's stopping you then?"

"I don't know isn't this more of a face to face conversation not over the phone?" I was stalling. He would pick up on that. He wasn't stupid.

"You had the opportunity to fly down there for 2 weeks and I told you that."

"Wow you really wanted me to leave didn't you?"

Ashton sighed and pulled away from me. "Luke you know that's not true."

"You seemed to want me to leave pretty badly while I was there."

"Luke I'm trying not to get angry but you're making it kind of hard."

"Well it's true isn't it? I was there for like a day and you were already trying to get rid of me."

"Luke! Shut up!" He shouted. It was probably loud enough for Michael and Calum to hear in the room over. I cringed at the thought. And he noticed. "Oh I'm sorry am I being too loud? Will your best friends who will love you no matter what, hear me yelling? Should I be quiet?" He was yelling. And his voice was shaking.

"Ashton-" My voice was quiet but he stopped. He looked at me and lowered his voice.

"What Luke? What is it?"

"Why can't you respect that I'm not ready?"

"I can Luke. I can respect that you aren't ready to tell your fans or the entire world. But the fact that you can't tell your family and two best friends? And you said it yourself. Your parents would accept you. You know by not telling them, it makes me feel like you aren't ashamed of your sexuality, but you're ashamed of me." His facial expression changed as if just coming to this conclusion as he said it. He looked shocked and hurt.

"Ashton you know that's not true!"

He looked up at me suddenly.

"So what's stopping you Luke?"

"I-" I didn't know. Nothing should have been stopping me. It wasn't him. I loved him.

"Yeah. That's what I thought." His voice was emotionless.

"Ashton please." He was scaring me.

"Please what? Luke you may say that it's not me but it is. What else could it be? And if it is me then why am I still here? You obviously don't care enough about me to tell people that youre with me so why am I still here?" He didn't look at me.

"Ashton. What are you saying?"

Then he looked up. His eyes were full of pain and it looked like he was debating on whether or not to say what he did. But he did.

"I'm saying we should break up."

~

Whoops..

Happy Canada day to all my fellow Canadians! And for all you Americans happy fourth of July on Saturday.

So like... sorry for this... I guess...

No point in saying I love you guys because I know that the comment I get from my wonderful friend will not be quite as positive as love (:

Anyways

-ash