Weirdo (Ruikasa)

Part7

It went really quite. Why did I say that!?!? Am I dumb?! Oh god no, no I wasn't supposed to say that. Shit shit shit. AHH WHY AM I ALWAYS SAYING THINGS I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY What was I thinking?! LIKE WHAT THE HELL TSUKASA.  ...What was she thinking...?

She said nothing. I have no idea what is she thinking. Was she mad, happy or disguisted?? I really wish I could see her face now. It would show all the emotios, but now I had no idea. It was quite, so quite.

Ahh i hate that silence. Because of that I'm stressing out even more. I looked at my hands they were all shaking. I could hear my heart pounding too. I was so fucking nervous. What did she think dammit?!?? I really want to stay friends with her. Tears where in my eyes...again. This shit will never stop. I wanted to cry again so badly. She was disguisted, wasn't she...?

"YOU SHOULD CONFESS TOO HIM TSUKASAAA!!!!!!!"
"HAAA? THAT ISN'T SO EASY!!"
"COME ON YOU CAN DO ITTT!" probally there wassparkle in her eyes
"Yeah sure" I said sarcasticlly

She chuckled.

Tears in my eyes stopped. She really thinks that is so easy? HAH THAT IS MUCH HARDER. Oh she was so silly. hahaha-

Wait... what? She supported this?? Really????  She was nice...and she wasn't disguisted...she was okay with this!? Wha- that couldn't be real. How could she?! Why... I don't get it.

Did she understand it?? ...I mean she wasn't the smartest. Did she really understand that I like... I like guys... I like my friend Rui? Did she??

"Ahh do you really understand Emu" No way she did. I mean if she did she would stopped being friends with me , right?
"Ehh?"
"I-I I like Rui..." I started, I just needed to be sure...
"Yeah?"She asked so confused. She sounded like little puppy... no she always sounded like little puppy.
"And like...yk? He's like- he's a guy" I continued
"I know that" ofcourse she did, she wasn't that dumb.
"And-and I'm a guy too" I could feel her being confused through that door.
"I like him" she didin't get it, did she?
"Fuck... I'm gay Emu."

Yeah that was true. I was gay. It isn't bad thing, but I'm still not very happy about this. It is hard to accept this. I wish I was normal like everyone else. But I wasn't. I never was. I always was loud, really chaotic and stuff. It was me. Yeah.

"I know that Tsukasa, don't worry LOVE IS LOVE!!" Oh wow. That was kinda cringy. Kinda very cringy but it was nice too hear this. It was nice to be accepted. It really is. I could feel happiness in my heart. I wasn't expecting to be accepted. Damn I'm so happy.

How could I think that Emu is homofobic?? I mean her logic is: if you smile then it is perfect. She couldn't be homofobic. I was such and idiot. Like really. I was an idiot

"But I still don't  understand why were you crying" she said with sad voice
"Oh... because Rui and Nene, they are such a beautiful couple, aren't they?"
"What? But they aren't dating..." I knew they weren't, but I know they like each other there is no other option.
"They don't like each other Tsukasa." Was it true? No,no,no I saw them smiling at each other that must have been something.
"They do"
"Why would you even think that? It is obvious they don't." Whaa- it wasn't obvious.
"T-THEY DO, I MEAN HAVE YOU SAW THEIR EYES?!"
"What is wrong with theirs eyes??"
"THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACHOTHER IT IS LOVE. I MEAN THAT SPARKLE."
"HEE??!!! THERE ISN'T ANY SPARKLE TSUKASA, YOU HAVE HALLUCINATIONS."
"I DON'T!!"

Was it true? Wasn't there any sparkle at all?? But I was sure, I swear-
"So you were jealous?" She asked me. And she was right. All the time I was jealous it was true. Everytime I saw them together something was hitting me. Anger? Saddnes? All of them. I hate that feeling.
"I guess I was, I am..." I agreed with her.

It was quite again. I felt like Emu was my real friend now. She really is something special.
"Thank you" I whispered really quite, but I'm sure she could hear that.

I heard footsteps getting closer and closer.
"Guys you are sitting there for like 20 minutes we will be late for school"
That was Nene. 20 MINUTES. I DIDIN'T KNOW THAT WE TALKED FOR SO LONG.

I wiped my face, so no one would suspect nothing and came out of bathroom. "SO LET'S GET GOING" I screamed and ran of the house.
"How is he so energetic, it is so early" Nene said while yawning.