Weirdo (Ruikasa)

Part 10

We started practice. Everyone did really good job. Oh. We are getting there. To the kiss scene. Only few minutes to kiss scene happen. Shit. I'm stressed out. I wish that kiss scene didin't exist. What? Wtf are you talking Tsukasa. It was your plan. You planned this so now don't cry.

Why did I think of that plan.

SHUT THE FUCK UP TSUKASA, YOU EXACTLY KNOW WHY. It will work and you will loose feeling. ...Yeah, you will. You must. OKAY FOCUS.

Nene and Rui said last sentences before the kiss scene. Oh they were getting closer. And closer. Fuck.

Rui is holding her, and getting his face closer too Nene. I don't want to see this. I really don't.

My heart starts to beat really fast, and I'm shacking already. Fucking god. Shit. They are almost kissing. My heart. Fuck. It hurts. It hurts so much. Shit, shit. Don't cry Tsukasa. My eyes are watering. FUCK TSUKASA DON'T CRY THEY WILL KISS BECAUSE OF YOU.

I should be happy. But I'm not.I didin't know this plan will hurt me so much. I feel like I'm dying. All trembling, almost crying, heart hurts me and i can't move. I want to stop them. I wish I fould say something. I want to scream. I wish I could tell them to stop but I can't. I just can't. How much I try I can't tell anything or move. I want to move and ruin it, but I feel like something is holding me in that place. Fuck.

I looked at emu. Her face was the same as mine. We both looked like we are watching someone die. Why did she look like that?? Well I don't have time thinking about this now. The only thing i can think of is the view I see. They almost kissed. My vision satrted to blur. I'm kinda glad it did, atleast I don't have to see them kiss.

"I can't" I heard girls voice. I knew this voice. It was Nene. What? What was she saying. What can't she do? Was it in script? Did they already kissed already?
"I-I can't do it..." I heard Nene again.
What. WHAT?!

My vision came back and I saw that Nene pushed Rui again. They didin't kiss? THEY DIDIN'T KISS HAHA! WAIT I SHOULDN'T BE HAPPY. They were supposed to kiss. Well to be honest I'm happy. Like really happy.

"HUH" I shouted.
"I'm sorry Tsukasa, I can't...I... I don't want to kiss Rui"
THANK GOD NENE. When I heard this words I felt pressure going away.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T WANT TO KISS RUI?! I MEAN YOU DIDIN'T EVEN TRY, IF YOU WANT TO BE AN ACTRESS THEN YOU MUST KISS HIM!!!" I have no idea why I'm saying things like that. I'm literlly the happiest that she didn't kiss him, even if I shouldn't be.
"COME ON NENE, YOU DON'T WANT TO BE USELESS ,RIGHT? OR IS IT TO LATE IF YOU CAN'T TO SUCH A SIMPLE THING"

What the fuck Tsukasa.

Why did I say that. I could see Nene's smile fading away, and replacing with tears. Many tears. Shit. Shit, shit, shit.
Why. Why am I such an idiot. Why every fucking time I open my mouth I make people angry and sad. Talking about poeple being angry, Rui looked at me with a dead stare. Fuck did I make him hate me? I did, right? Fucking god. Emu was worried to. She hugged Nene comforting her. Did I just loose all my friends. I did. Shit. I'm always messing something up. I mever ment to make her cry fuck. I really am failure.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry Tsukasa I'm sorry"Nene said with face full of tears. Fucking god what did I do to her. No, no, no, no, no. Shit Nene. I was supposed to make myself cry not Nene. Not everyone around me. Not making everyone angry with me. But everyone is. Rui hates. Emu hates me. Nene hates me. God.

Haha. Hahaha. Haha...ha...

Yep I had tears in my eyes, and I'm shaking. I cam't move. I really want to apologies to Nene work this out, but it is to late. Ofcourse it is Tsukasa. What did you expect? Am I making my self a victim? God that is really phatetic
The only things I could say were the bad things. Why the heck-

"COME ON-" I started screaming at her again, but luckly someone stopped me. Thank god.
"Shut up Tsukasa" oh. It was Rui. He was so pissed off. Well I don't blame him. But hearing him mad at me made my heart hurt. Like really much.
"You can't force and control everyone Tsukasa, you are only hurting us this way. It is pointless." Rui continued. His voice was very calm but I knew he was angry.

"RUI IS RIGHT, IF NENE DOESN'T WANT TO DO THIS SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO!!" Emu agreed with Rui. And she was right. I knew she was, ever since the beginning.

"Why does that kiss matter to you so much?"Rui asked. Well it doesn't. Well it does but not in that way.

Then I heard sobbing. Nene was crying harder and harder. I'm so stuipid. I feel so bad for her, but I can't help her. I can't even help my friend. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm really am believie me." Nene was really hurt. Shit. Fuck.
"See what you have done? Good job" Rui said pissed off. Hah I lost all my friends.

I have no idea why but I suddenly felt tears coming in my eyes. You can't cry Tsukasa. You don't deserve it. You will only make scene. Nene is the one that has actual reasons to cry not you.

"Was that kiss really necessary? No. So why did you get so angry Tsukasa. I don't want to say it, but sometimes you are pathetic." Ouch. It hurt me. Tears started to fall on my cheeks. I covered my face with my hands as fast as I could. I really didin't want them to see me cry.

Hey there guys. Sorry it took so long to write this but I had a lot of school work and I'm super lazy. I will probally upload new chapters in few weeks bc I'm lazy asf. And I'm really sorry😭. Anyways this and few next chapters are gonna be angsty(I'm sorry). Thanks for support and see you soon!!