In Felix' room Jisung had his fists pressed against his ears, desperately trying to shut out the sounds Felix was making. The blond was over by the window, and with the shrillest voice he could manage the Aussie was "singing".
"Aaaaaaaall byyyyy myseeeeelf. Don't wanna beeeeeee aaaaaaall by myyyyyyself..."
The pillow hit him hard in the face. "Keep making that noise and you will be, "Jisung threatened. "And it's "don't wanna live all by myself". At least get the lyrics right". Felix smirked. "I'm surprised you know that." The comment made Jisung blush.
They had been trough several different stages since the party Saturday. First, there was the crying stage. That had lasted for a long while. Jisung had managed to sneak Felix out, while he had been in a more numb and unresponsive phase, but as soon as they were back in the safety of Felix' own room, the Aussie had fallen apart. It had been impossible to console him – all Jisung could do was to be there so he wasn't alone as his small frame shook from the violent crying. He also tried to make sure that Felix drank something, since he was seriously in danger of dehydration as things were going.
Eventually Felix had fallen asleep in Jisung's arms. It felt natural for Jisung, and he knew that Minho didn't mind. He was grateful that his boyfriend wasn't the jealous type. They both slept poorly, Felix waking from time to time only to cry until he fell asleep again. Jisung's heart was breaking from seeing his best friend in so much pain.
The next day they moved on to the angry stage. Felix had refused to leave the room, but acted like a caged animal. He was pacing up and down with restless energy, fueled by his anger towards his fellow Australian. Felix kept listing everything Chan had ever done to annoy him. "...and then there was the interview where he said I was like a brother to him. Can you believe that? A brother? Thank you for that horrible incestuous mental picture, Chan. I'm not fantasizing about being dicked down by my brother, now am I?" Jisung choked on his drink and coughed soda on himself and the bed sheets, but Felix didn't as much as falter in his rant.
"Hey, I'm casually dying over here, Lixi. You can't say stuff like that!" Jisung croaked out between coughs. "Oh stop acting so innocent," Felix huffed. "Only when you stop acting so experienced," Jisung snapped back. They stared at each other not used to talking about this specific subject. "Moving on," Felix said s bit flustered, before he brought up another time Chan had been an idiot, for not getting his super smooth hints.
Finally Felix hit the "I don't have the energy to talk or even think about this anymore, so please distract me" stage. That meant playing games on Nintendo Switch pretending nothing was wrong. And Jisung played along, committed to helping his twin in any way he could.
The night was still bad. Felix curled up in a ball, and Jisung held him as Felix' insecurities got the better of him.
Am I really that horrible? Did I do something wrong? I was a fool to think someone like him would even consider to be with someone like me. He thinks I'm ugly, doesn't he? It's those ugly spots all over my face. I'm too skinny, too weak. My voice is freaky. He thinks I'm childish.
He cried with loud, uncontrollable sobs. But Jisung was there, never leaving his side, stroking his back and finger combing his hair, whispering words Felix was unable to hear trapped in his own mind.
On the third day they entered the "what if" stage. What if Felix hadn't left Australia? What if both him and Chan hadn't left Australia and met in Sydney? What if Felix went back to Australia? What if Felix left Stray Kids?
The mentioning of the last scenario made Jisung tense up. He had thought that his twin had a mere crush on Chan. Felix had corrected him when they were at the cat cafe, stating that his feeling ran deeper. And that had been an understatement too. It was clear to Jisung that Felix was in deed very much in love, with Chan. How much more of this could Lixi take? If this was a matter of unrequited love, how in the world would Felix cope? And if it wasn't unrequited, what the hell was the matter with Chan?
Jisung sat holding his breath without even knowing it. "Yes, I'll quit Stray Kids and just become a groupie instead! A Stray Kids groupie." Felix giggled, even if there was a note of hysteria there. "Oh really, you're going to be a STAY? Can I be your bias?" the dark haired laughed when Felix pretended to puke. Clearly they were now in the "let's make jokes to cope with this shit" stage.
"It's been three days, Felix. You need to start thinking about facing the world again. Don't worry about Chan. You can always claim to have become a chicken and just cluck at him – no need to speak to him at all. But you need a shower – you stink!" The blond turned against Jisung on the bed, with a mischievous grin. His eyes were sparkling just like they used to do.
"Hey, Sungie. Will you sniff me? I feel so bad and stinky. Hey, Sungie. Will you sniff me? I feel som bad and stinky." He leapt onto the squirrel on the bed, too fast for the other to get away. Jisung cried for help.
Suddenly Minho was in the doorway, looking at the two of them with a stern, but still loving expression. "It smells like someone died in here. The window opens you know? Felix, get in the shower. You're eating dinner with the rest of us tonight. That goes for you too, baby."
The twins shared a look before they turned to Minho and said in unison: "Yes, Mommy!" The eldest just rolled his eyes before he left. Felix and Jisung giggled together. Felix was happy he got to tease his hyung. Jisung was happy because he knew he would have to pay for this later - and he was already looking forward to it.
YOU ARE READING
You're the One
Fanfiction""Can I come in? Please, Channie?" Chan nodded and took his seat by the desk, and Felix waddled slowly into the room. "What do you want?" the oldest Australian said with a tired, but not unkind voice. "I would like to talk to you" Felix muttered. "I...
