egoist // yuyeon.

13.

I didn't sleep much at night. I don't know when Soyeon stopped crying, but it took her a while. Haku and Mata stood by the door the whole time. I could hear their whining and everything and it made me even sadder but I didn't wanna leave Soyeon alone. I kept whispering things to her all night, mostly saying I'm sorry about... everything, and saying that I love her while stroking her hair.

Last night reminded me so much of when, well, shit happened and what I've done and it was just terrible, so obviously I ended up with only like two hours of sleep. I've been awake since about 7 a.m., and it's now 9 a.m., and Haku and Mata are whining at the door again. I sigh heavily and gently pull away from Soyeon to get up and open the door for them. I stand by the bed and stare at her for a bit, until she turns over.

I open the door and Haku and Mata are quick to wag their tails. They climb up on the bed and Haku goes straight to lay down by Soyeon's side. I lay back down aswell with Mata next to me, and throw the covers over myself again. Haku suddenly sits up and wags his tail, meaning Soyeon must be awake now. Her hand moves to pet him.

"Hi." She says cutely to Haku. He really likes the sound of her voice. Soyeon chuckles as Haku moves closer to her and licks her nose. Soon, he lays down next to her again. I move closer to Soyeon, and she turns over to face me.

"Hey," I say. She looks visibly embarrassed and at the same time like she wants to say something. "Are you feeling okay?"

Soyeon just nods without saying anything.

"Do you... want to talk about anything?" I ask. I have a feeling she's either gonna say no or nothing at all. Again.

"Can I go to the bathroom?" Soyeon says. I sigh, a bit disappointed.

"Yeah, go."

I watch as she gets up, gives Haku a kiss on his head, and walks quickly out of the room. I yawn and stretch, then move to lay down on Soyeon's side of the bed. I hug her pillow, breathing in her nice scent as Haku stares at me and sniffs for a moment. I hope Soyeon will talk to me. I hope we won't just pretend these past two nights never even happened and continue to be distant and only have deep talks at night and having a weird relationship with each other.

I hear footsteps, so I turn over and see that Soyeon has come back to the room. I don't move or let go of her pillow. She sits at the foot of the bed with her legs crossed, and grabs my pillow and hugs it. Soyeon hides her face in it and all I can see is her hair now. Neither of us say anything for a few moments.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I ask.

"I'm fine." Soyeon mumbles into my pillow. She doesn't sound fine. She's not acting fine. "I need to get up."

"No. You're not going anywhere today." I say.

"Yes I am." Soyeon replies.

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No!"

"Fucking yes!" Soyeon yells and frees my pillow from her grasp. She lowers her head.

"Fine! Go anywhere you want to!" I yell back. "We'll talk after you've sobbed and thrown up in your studio and come home fucking wasted again because of your own bullshit."

Fuck. Here we go again. That was really uncalled for on my part.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that," I say, moving closer to her. Soyeon picks up the pillow and stuffs her face in it again. "I'm sorry."