egoist // yuyeon.

12.

I wipe the tears from my cheeks and run towards the door with Haku and Mata barking beside me. The doorbell rings once more before I open the door with trembling hands.

Standing in front of me is a girl who I immediately recognise to be Soojin, despite the huge changes in her appearance. She's hotter now. Next to her is Soyeon, and they're holding hands, which stabs me hard in the gut even though Soojin is taken. In the black Range Rover behind them I can see the silhouette of two boys and a girl in the backseat who lowkey looks like Shuhua.

"I— Um, I'm sorry we have to reunite like this." Soojin says, still timid and shy like she's always been. Soyeon is looking the other way, but her eyes seem tired and overall she seems fucked up. Soojin seems fucked up too. "You look pretty. Blonde hair suits you."

I force a smile. "Thanks. You too, but what the fuck happened?"

"Um, she's drunk, kinda senseless." Soojin replies. "I was the one who opened your messages. I'm sorry."

Whoever is on the wheel honks at Soojin, but she keeps talking to me. "Anyway, from what she said it seems like you two have some... I don't know, unresolved issues you need to deal with? Just please don't talk to her about it now. It's not really a good time."

There's more honking, and Soojin pushes Soyeon towards me. I pull her into a hug.

"I need to go," Soojin concludes. "Uh, nice to see you again, Yuqi."

Before I can say anything, Soojin runs off and gets into the car. I close the door. Soyeon remains motionless in my arms. I cup her face in my hands and she stares at me blankly, her eyes unfocused.

"What happened to you?" I ask softly. Soyeon looks down at Haku who's barking at her and doesn't reply. She struggles to pull away from me, but I finally let her sit down and pet Haku. He sniffs her oversized black shirt that probably smells like pure alcohol, then snuggles closer to her. Soyeon stops petting him all of a sudden.

"Come on," I say to her softly and grab her hand, pulling her up from the ground. We look at each other for a bit, then I realize Soyeon is about to cry. My fault. My fault for all of this.

We walk upstairs and I lead her into her room.

"Change out of those, they smell like booze." I say. "Do you need help?"

"No." Soyeon says, so quietly I can barely hear her. She heads towards that chair full of clothes, placing a hand on the closet doors for balance as she walks. I stare at her as she takes off the oversized shirt and throws it on the floor along with the bra she had on. I think Soyeon knows I'm staring, but she doesn't react. Maybe she can't react because she's so drunk. My fault.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts as soon as I see Soyeon running out of the room. I quickly run after her into the bathroom and simply watch as she begins to throw up. I'm supposed to do something. Not just stand here and watch. But I don't know what to do. I could hold Soyeon's hair back, but she's doing that herself. I could maybe place a hand on her forehead so she doesn't feel dizzy, but she's also doing that herself.

All that's left for me, I guess, is to just sit and watch Soyeon throw up uselessly.

.   .   .

It's been a while. I don't know how long, but it's been a while. Soyeon has brushed her teeth three times so far only to throw up again after each time. I keep telling her I couldn't care less if she smells like vomit. She doesn't, anyway. Nor has she been listening to me all this time.

Soyeon is brushing her teeth for the fourth time now, staring blankly at her reflection. I'm grabbing her hand trying to drag her to her room while staring at her tired eyes. Unable to speak, she just whines as I pull and pull at her hand.