Secret Sister Signs

2016: It's Complicated

 "Psssst! Alazar!" Toni beckoned for him.

He looked surprised to see her and hurried over. "Toni, chica! Qué pasa?"

"Umm... no mucho bien?" She cringed.

"Dude, you fuckin' suck at Spanish," he laughed and threw his arm around her shoulders. "What are you doing hanging out here by my locker?"

"First of all, you jackass," she slipped out from beneath his arm. "Why didn't you tell me you were in my high school! I don't like surprises, man!"

"I didn't not tell you. Why did you assume I wasn't in school?" He arched an eyebrow.

"Whoa," Toni warned. "Don't try to paint me into a racist corner. Look, smartass, we have another school in town. We're not that hick! Just because you're in school doesn't mean that you'd be at my school. But anyway, whatever. Look, um... I was hoping to have a word with you. If that's cool."

He shrugged. "Sure, what's going on?"

"Umm..." She bit her lip as she looked around, she definitely didn't want to be caught by Bobby or Luke hanging around their lockers. "Can we pop outside?"

"And probably miss the first ten minutes of chemistry? Why not?" He smirked as he followed her out the nearest exit. Right on cue the bell rang as they stepped outside. They ignored it.

"So...look, I haven't been as totally transparent with you as I maybe should've been." She nervously tugged on the straps of her backpack. "And I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She blushed.

"Wait, what?" He furrowed his brow.

Toni swallowed hard, feeling her blush deepen. "So actually, I'm sorta seeing this guy..." She couldn't risk looking at him and instead focused on her chipped fingernail polish. "I-I mean we've been homies since forever but uh, I-I mean at the start of the summer we, um..." Her words got caught in a jumble the more she tried to explain, her lisp was starting to come through as it always did when she was nervous. In one rushed, heated exhale she wildly rambled; "IactuallyhaveaboyfriendandIfeelreallybadlikeIleadyouonbutIreallytotallylikeyou anddon'twannaloseyouasafriendbutIalsosortalikeyoualittletoomuchandI'mworriedI'd cheatonmyboyfriendtobewithyouIknowI'mcrazyandI'msorryIcreatesomuch dramapleasedon'thateme."

She finally paused for breath. Fernando still looked like he was only halfway through translating her spiel.

"Wait...you have a boyfriend?" He deduced.

She made a sound of pain. "Duh! That's what I fucking said! I'm sorry," she winced and looked away.

"No, hey, it's okay," he squeezed her shoulder. "I mean, I was an idiot for assuming you didn't. What guy wouldn't love to date you? Or girl," he smiled more when she grinned a bit.

"What's wrong with me, man?" She took his hand to squeezed between hers. "I feel so fuckin' mixed up around him but when I'm with you it's just like... peace, y'know? Like a vibe. Like a nonstop vibe." He nodded with a faint smile. "But like, that's how it was between me and him too before I had to go and ruin it with sex."

He cringed. "Yikes. That bad, huh?" He pinched her hip.

She scowled and smacked his hand away. "No, that's not what I meant! We were dynamo!" She blushed more and looked around nervously. "I just mean, now he's hooked." Fernando tried not to laugh as he looked away. "Look, I'll be the first to admit that I should not be trusted in stressful situations. I had a super shitty year, and he was like, the only person on Earth -besides wasn't my family- that even looked at me. Hell, even Alexa kinda ghosted me when Daisy proclaimed me toxic energy and everyone totally shitted on me. I can't blame Lex, actually. I mean, I didn't. Though now she's kinda weird," she muttered to herself as a side note. Then quickly carried on. "Anyway, he and I were homies since the dawn of time and -"

"I get it," he interrupted. "Really. I mean, you two already had a bond, everyone was really cruel to you, it makes perfect sense how you'd wanna try something with him that'd make you feel good. I get it."

"Really?" Her eyes started to sting with tears. She angrily brushed them away. "I mean, I love the man. Seriously. But I just can't stop torturing myself with all the thousands of what-ifs. He says stuff now like I always loved you and I didn't know how to tell you until now and meanwhile I can't help but think what if this is just a phase? What if my feelings change again, y'know? Was I was just using him? Y'know like," she wiped her nose absently on her sleeve. "I was feeling super shitty. He makes me feel amazing, yeah, but...y'know?" She winced with frustration, unsure of how to turn her feelings into words.

"Yeah," he slowly nodded. "It's okay though, Toni. We don't have to... I don't, hang out all the time or whatever if you need time to figure out where you stand with him." Toni sniffled loudly, she looked away with embarrassment. "But hey, you always have my number. I don't wanna stop being friends you. I mean shit, it's a tough crowd in there, amiright?" He nodded over his shoulder at the school.

"Yeah," she managed a wobblily smile. "Thanks, bro. I...I really feel like shit though."

"You're not gonna try to hump me, are you?" He joked.

"Urgh!" She rolled her eyes and punched his arm. "You're such a bastard," she quickly dried her eyes. "Um, so now that that's all cleared up..."

"Hey, us bi guys gotta stick together, right?" He winked and nudged her.

"Fuck yes," she sighed with relief and hugged him. "Maybe that's the problem," she murmured. "I think I wanna...I don't know, flex my bi muscles for a bit before I settle down. I mean shit, I'm only sixteen." She pulled away.

"Too bad we can't go to gay clubs," he laughed.

"Too bad there aren't any around here," she scoffed.

"City?"

"City," she nodded. "Fuck."

"Speaking of flexing that bi muscle," he smiled a bit and looked away briefly. "Okay, so there's this guy I'm sorta simping for in class."

Toni instantly brightened. "You gotta crush? Fuckin' tell me!" She excitedly shook his arm.

He rolled his eyes. "I dunno. He's just like... So. Fucking. Hot. And we actually have a shit ton in common, he's fuckin' great. We talk all the time."

"Tell me, tell me!"

"Meh," he shrugged. "Maybe later. Hey, if we're any later to class than we already are, we're definitely getting detention."

"You're just in a hurry getting back to your crush, you dog," she laughed. "Give me his name and I'll give you the tea on him. Trust me, I've known these idiots all my life." She rolled her eyes. "Is it Mike? I bet it's fuckin' Mike. No, Dylan," she gasped. "Final answer. It's Dylan, isn't it? Yeah, he's fuckable but he's a real dick once you get to know him."

"No, no. His name's Connors." Toni paled. "Luke Connors. What can you tell him about him?"

She swallowed hard. "Um. Gee," she felt the color return to her face in a wild blush. "How do I tell you this?" She plucked at her shirt, feeling unbearably hot.

"It's cool, I figure he's straight but y'know," he winked. "Gotta have aspirations."

"That's incredible. Look, by all means, flirt your little heart out. But uh," she cleared her throat awkwardly. "That's um, that's my homie. Like my... homie homie." She winced apologetically. "Sorry."

"Whoa. Holy shit, that's...eye-opening. Huh," he blinked rapidly in thought. "If your dating Luke Connors than how is your mind not made up?"

She rolled her eyes. "It's complicated."