Painting the Hueless Sky (La Carlota #4)

39

"I'm sorry for.. Not listening to you, Kyne."

Pinanood kong unti-unting sumulpot ang araw sa ibabaw ng dagat, the night was the hardest night I had to go through with him. The unending silence wasn't that bearable, kahit walang nagsasalita pakiramdam ko hindi ako natatahimik.

"I personally wouldn't do what you did," anya. "But that doesn't mean what you had done was not valid. Kung sa tingin mo roon ka sasaya at tatahimik sino ako para pigilan ka, Engineer? I mean.. Look at you now, happy and contented. Sometimes.. We just need to leave what's hindering us from being our best selves.. And then you left me, for your betterment and I don't see anything wrong with that."

I gulped. Bitterness was lingering in his voice. Buong gabi kaming tahimik at ngayon lang talaga nag-usap, I don't know what's with me but I feel like he needs an apology.. For not being heard by me.

The person who should've made him feel most heard.

"I should've listened.. "

"E 'di wala kang Niko ngayon?" he laughed. "You're happy with him, that's the best compensation that I'll ever receive from a heart break."

Tumango ako. "It takes a lot to be happy for someone you've loved.. Thank you for that."

He chuckled and dusted his hands off the sands. "Correction, for someone you love, Engineer.. Mahal pa rin nga kasi kita, pero ayos na 'ko. I love you but I have moved on, hayaan mo nalang akong mahalin ka."

I thinned my lips. "Norine.. " bulong ko. "You can call me Norine again, Kyne.. "

Natigilan siya sa sinabi ko't tinignan ako. "Really?"

I nodded. "That's the least that I can do," pinilit kong ngumiti. "Let's be civil, shall we?"

"Civil.. I can do that. That's already better than being a stranger to you honestly," he chuckled. "That's a lot better than pretending that I don't know you."

"Sa tingin mo hinahanap nila tayo?" I pouted.

"Sa tingin mo hindi ka hahanapin ni Niko? That man loves you, for sure he's as just worried."

I watched the calm waves go on top of each other like it wasn't mad last night. Pati ang langit, it's clear now.. It's not as dark and cloudy like last night. Parang tapos na 'tong magalit sa mundo.

"I hope they're okay.. " I blew my cheeks.

"They are," mabilis niyang sabi. Even though I know his words are empty I can't help but to feel reassured and calmed. Kahit walang kasiguraduhan, nagawa kong magtiwala. "The sun's almost up, hindi ka pa natutulog.. Aren't you sleepy?"

I shook my head and let my chin rest on my knees. "No.. I'm okay, ikaw ba? Are you okay? I haven't asked you.. "

"I'm fine.. I wouldn't be if I lost you in the waters, pero nandito ka na naman so I am more than fine.. "

Lumunok ako't huminga nang malalim, hindi ko alam kung ano'ng susunod na dapat kong sabihin. Or should I stay silent? I should, right? But the waves sounds too overpowering, hindi ako mapakali.

"Kyne," I tried to call him. Pilit kong pinaglalaruan ang pino at malamig na buhangin sa 'king kamay, hinintay ko siyang sumagot.

"Yeah?"

"I'm so proud of who you've become."

He was silent, may nasabi ba akong mali? Agad ko siyang pinagmasdan at nakatingin lang din siya sa 'kin, his eyes were stripped off its walls. It was slowly turning red right as we stared at each other. His adam's apple moved as his jaw tense.