Warhammer 40K: Anti-Haremist [OC]

Extra 3: Meeting Big E

A portal opens up in the Imperial Palace's throne room.

Kyrie: "... No... I recognize that aura anywhere. It's-"

Emperor: "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, YOUNG LADY?"

Kyrie: "Ah... I see your TTS device is working well..."

Kitten: "TTS device?"

Magnus: "It means 'Text-To-Speech Device', you gold-silver serving platter. Also, weren't you the one who ordered this be installed?"

Kyrie: "Yeah! Weren't you - *looks at Magnus* Woooah-ho-hoah. Magnus... why are you half-naked?"

Emperor: "THIS NERD GOT MAD AFTER I MADE A REASONABLE ASSUMPTION."

Magnus: "There was nothing reasonable about it!"

Rogal: "Are you certain, Magnus? You looked very upset to have broken Kyrie's gift."

Magnus sighs as he looks at the shreds on the floor.

Kyrie: "Wait, you guys know about me?"

Emperor: "OF COURSE WE DO. MAGNUS TOLD US EVERYTHING AFTER HE CALMED DOWN."

Kitten: "*Whispering to himself* It took a hundred fucking years..."

Kyrie: "Right..."

Rogal: "Girl, I believe you owe us an explanation."

Emperor: "ROGAL IS RIGHT ON THIS ONE. KYRIE, WHAT IN THE WARP HAVE YOU DONE TO STAR CHILD?"

Kitten: "Who?"

Magnus: "What?"

Kyrie: "Huh? Oh! Right, him. Well- uhh-... where do I begin?... There isn't really much to say anyway. I just kind of... appeared out of nowhere, realized I was in the Warp, realized I was in Star Child's boat, and then the next thing I know, BOOM! I'm a hellishly powerful psyker now."

Magnus: "Hold on, wait a minute, who is this 'Star Child' you speak of, Father, friend Kyrie?"

Rogal: "Father, is she actually one of your other surviving brides?"

Emperor: "HELL NO. AND I KNOW, BECAUSE I AM THE FUCKMOTHERING EMPEROR."

Kyrie giggles at this.

Kyrie: "And, uhhh, before you ask, I have no idea how a girl like me got through all this. Except maybe some other forces but let's not get into that."

Magnus: "Chaos?"

Kyrie: "Eeeh, no, not really."

Kitten: "Other gods?"

Kyrie: "Malal isn't canon."

Emperor: "YEAH. FUCK THAT GUY."

Magnus: "Who-... Ugh, nevermind. I'm going to retrieve my armor..."

Kyrie: "No need."

Magnus: "Wha-"

Kyrie fixes the dark red hoodie with some psyker bullshit. It was now on Magnus.

Magnus: "... Why didn't I think of that?"

Emperor: "BECAUSE YOUR NERD BRAIN ONLY FOCUSES ON COMING UP WITH EMPTY BRAVADOS."

Magnus: "*SNAP* Okay, cadaver-mane."