Saints or Sinners | {BOOK 3}

49| Missing Maddie and Zep

Sam and Dean rushed over to where Cass was cradling Samandriel's dead vessel. I followed them at a much slower pace. I was a lot more wary of the angel after the flashback I'd seen in the factory.

"Cass!" Sam cried. "What the hell happened?"

"He was compromised," Cass answered, standing up. "He came at me. I killed him in self defense."

"Cass, you okay?" Dean asked worriedly.

Blood trickled from one of Cass's eyes, and he reached up to swipe it away.

"My vessel must have been damaged in the melee. I have to go. Samandriel's remains belong in Heaven."

We watched as Cass crouched down beside Samandriel's body and put an arm around his shoulders.

"Cass, wait," Dean tried to stop him.

"Thank you all... for everything you've done."

With a flap of his wings, Cass and Samandriel's vessel disappeared.

"Cass!" Dean yelled.

⁘

Back at Rufus' cabin, we spray painted Enochian sigils on the walls and doors so that Cass wouldn't be able to see or hear us.

"Okay, what the hell?" Dean asked when we finished.

"I know," Sam agreed.

"I told you something was off with him since he got back from Purgatory."

"So, what, you think someone's messing with him or something?"

"Who?"

"Angels?"

"Why would angels have him kill another angel?"

Sam shrugged helplessly, and they both looked over at me.

"Ellie?" Dean asked gently. "Ellie, what is it?"

I lifted my gaze to meet his eyes.

"You know how I forgot what happened during my trip to Heaven to try and get Maddie and Zep back?"

"Yeah," Sam nodded. "Yeah, you said you thought the angels erased your memory for some reason."

"Yeah... I remember it now. Guys, Cass was the one erased my memory."

"What?"

"I had almost made it to the nursery, but before I could go in, I got dragged into this office. This angel, Naomi, she was there. She's kind of taken charge of Heaven. She told me I had to leave without Maddie and Zep. When I tried to argue with her, she said I was going back and that I wouldn't remember the trip. That's when Cass appeared and erased my memory."

"Naomi?" Dean repeated the name.

I just nodded my head. We both stared at each other for a moment, then he turned to face Sam.

"You know what, man? We got this. You go."

"What?" Sam asked, confused.

"Don't you have a girl to get back to?"

"Yeah. I guess I do. Um... Since when are you on the Amelia bandwagon?"

"I don't know. I'm just tired of all the fighting," Dean took a beer out of the fridge. "And, you know, maybe I'm a little bit jealous. I could never separate myself from the job like you could. Hell, maybe it's time for at least one of us to be happy."

I didn't take what Dean said personally, although, I very well could have. He and I had a very unconventional relationship. And besides that, we were both hunters. Even without all the extra drama, that alone created all kinds of complications for us. Unlike Sam, he and I were buried so deep in the life that we couldn't escape even if we tried, and we'd tried. There was a time, years ago, when I was more like Sam than Dean in regards to hunting.

Living at the shop with my father what seemed like eons ago, I had no part in hunting other than interacting with the hunters who came in to buy supplies. But that part of my life was dead and gone. I was a full-blown huntress now.

"What, you being such a big hugger, and all?" Sam joked. "She does make me happy, and she could be waiting for me if I went back. I'd be a very lucky man if she was. But now... with everything staring down at us, with all that's left to be done... I don't know."

"Huh," Dean grunted.

"Yeah."

"Well, I do know this- whatever you decide, decide. Both feet in or both feet out. Anything in between is what gets you dead."

"Yeah, I keep hearing that. I'm gonna... take a walk. Clear my head."

Sam headed out the door and Dean sighed.

"Ellie?"

"You should probably call Benny," I told him, standing up. "Let him know we aren't going to make it."

I didn't wait for his response, heading upstairs to go lay down. Once I reached the bedroom, I closed the door by leaning back against it, listening to the soft click as it settled into place. I squeezed my eyes shut to combat the tears that threatened to fall, biting my lip to stop the tremor that had started up as well. If I was right, and Naomi was the one messing with Cass, then we were in a lot more trouble than we originally thought.

I would give anything to hold my kids in my arms again. Maddie was four and Zep was one by now. She would be so grown up, and would probably insist she was too old for hugs and whatever, but I'd give them to her anyway. He would be walking and starting to talk, developing his own personality to rival hers. I'd like to imagine he would take more after me, considering Maddie was so much like Dean.

The tears were flowing freely now as I curled up on the bed and thought about my children trapped up in Heaven's nursery. I was facing away from the door, and I heard it open and shut again and then the familiar scent and weight of Dean joined me in the bed.

"I'm sorry, Ellie Bear," he whispered in the dark. "I know how much you miss them. I miss them, too."

I turned myself in his arms so I could wrap my arms around his waist, sobbing into his chest. He just held me quietly then, one hand rubbing soothingly up and down my back as he pressed a kiss to the top of my head. When the tears subsided, I moved off of Dean enough to allow him to remove the soaked shirt, and then I settled back down against his chest, exhaustion setting in as I let the rhythm of his heartbeat lull me to sleep.