Not Around The Corner

Fighting With You, For You

Jai’s P.O.V –

“Welcome to the wonderful world of jealousy, he thought. For the price of admission, you get a splitting headache, a nearly irresistible urge to commit murder, and an inferiority complex. Yippee.” ― J.R. Ward

I had been sulking around the house since I came back from Singapore. I wasn’t handling this jealousy thing very well. I knew my behaviour in the flight back home must have alarmed her but I didn’t know how to behave. This had happened to me for the first time. Every time I thought of her I imagined her either kissing him or laughing with him and every single time I wanted to hurt him. Take her away from him. He must be a great guy and all but right now the only thing I cared about was that she with him and not me.

Why did he have to come into her life first? I missed my chance with her by a couple of weeks.

Dad was worried about me but I was just shrugging it off. He didn’t have to be concerned about me. I hoped this feeling would go away soon. I hoped I could accept that she was happy with another guy. My mother’s death anniversary, a couple of days ago, had further increased my negativity. It had been nice to have her come and console me that day. But now, when she wasn’t here, nothing was right. I was jealous, sad, and thoroughly pissed.

Why did I come back? Why did I see her in that lovely sundress, the first time we met? She was looking fabulous and I remember being disappointed the moment I came to know she had a boyfriend. The proximity over the last two months hadn’t helped and the five days in Singapore had been amazing. All the wedding rituals, Rhea in traditional wear, the long walks, the fun chats, and me helping her discover her passion in photography had been like a dream come true.

The other day when she came over to comfort me she looked genuinely concerned but then she left and I knew she was going back to him. Back to that wretched human being.

Since I was back, I spent all my evenings curled up in my office. And the day was always a blur. I worked relentlessly to keep her out of my head. But the nights, how could I avoid them? Every time I closed my eyes I could see her jumping with joy or smiling or giving me an annoyed look. Maybe I should have told her how I felt. How that would have helped, my brain said. It wouldn’t have helped but it would have made coping easier.

For the first time in weeks, I decided to sit on the terrace. It was a full moon night and I was in a better mood than before. The doorbell rang and I got up to see who it was. Dad was cooking dinner. I opened the door to see Rhea standing there. What was she doing here?

“Hey,” she said.

“Hey,” I replied standing still.

“Can I come in?” she asked.

“Sure,” I said ushering her in.

“Just a second,” I told her and went into the kitchen.

“Did you call her again?” I asked my dad. “You have to stop doing that. I can handle myself,” I was angry now. Dad looked astonished.

“He didn’t call me. I came to check on you,” she said in a hurt voice.

I excused myself and went out to the terrace. She followed me there.

“What’s going on?” She asked quietly.

I didn’t reply. I didn’t know what to say.

“Why did you blame him? Can’t I come to meet you?” she asked. She seemed angry.

“What are we doing here, Rhea?” I asked.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“This. You are here to meet me?” I was pissed now. “Why would you do that?”

“Because we are friends,” she replied matter-of-factly. “And you had a difficult day just 2 days back,” she continued.

“Who told you we were? Some crazy idea in your head,” I had lost it. And I was hurting her with every passing minute.

“And it was a difficult day for me. For ME. Why do you care?” I asked.

“What’s wrong with you?” She was taken aback by my outburst.

She didn’t say anything for a while.

“Why are you being such a jerk?” she asked after sometime.

“Because I am one,” I replied arrogantly. I really needed to get a grip.

“What did I do to you for you to behave like this with me?” she asked. “Since the day we have been back from Singapore you have ignored me and now this.”

“What did you do?” I shouted now,” You bloody came into my life. That’s it. You had to come back. And if that’s not enough, you had to be all beautiful and amazing so that I fell for you.”

She was angry now. “You mean to say I tricked you?” she asked. Before I could say anything she stomped up to me and looked at me with hurt in her eyes, “Not once have I ever insinuated any such thought. I had a boyfriend.”

“Oh right. Akash, boyfriend of yours. Destiny it seems. That coward didn’t ask you anytime earlier and now he’s like your God,” I said spitefully. “What do you even see in him?” I asked cruelly.

“You have no right to talk about him like that,” she retorted angrily.

“But I will,” I replied. “He’s the reason I am so mad in the first place. One moment you are being nice to me and the next moment Akash this and Akash that,” I rambled on.

“You are such an idiot,” she said between her teeth. “You are jealous? It’s your freaking problem. This is not how you tell a girl you like her,” she yelled at me.

“As if you would have accepted me with him being around,” I said nastily.

“You didn’t even give me a chance,” she said quietly. She was hurt now.

“And it’s a good thing this thing between us is never going to work out because you are a conceited and an arrogant idiot,” she said with tears in her eyes.

I made her cry. Kudos, Jai. I went over to wipe her tears and she jerked me away. “So now you see that you have hurt me?” she asked with frustration.

“I just came here to check on you. To see if you were doing fine. Don’t you think I have been struggling with all these feelings too? That guy I am dating is the most amazing guy on this planet but still when I am around you I am more me. I am happier. The stupidest things you do make me laugh and time with you always seems to move fast. Day before yesterday when I heard that you were hurting I came rushing here like a mad human being just so that you would be alright. You know I asked Akash to drop me here. I left him just to come and see you. I care about you. I miss you more than I ever missed him. And all this is confusing. And you think I tricked you? Well look at yourself then. I was happily dating that guy and then you came along. You had to remember everything about me. My favorite ice-cream, the way I was, and the things I liked. You had to be a flirt and make me feel all these feelings which I never felt before, never knew of.”

“Confusing?” I asked interrupting her. “What isn’t confusing for you? Every damn thing in your life confuses you. You couldn’t even do what you have loved all your life. You are a very good photographer and you become a lawyer. Do you ever make the right decision?” I asked angrily.

She looked livid. “I didn’t know how you felt about me. How would I know if what I felt was indeed affection towards you? You are having these bundles of emotions all the time. At one point you are nice and then you are making my life a misery and then you are normal again. How am I to know if you are being serious? And why would a girl ever choose you if you were going to be like this?” she shouted loudly.

“You are such a jerk. Why did you have to ruin this?” she asked crying. Without another word, she left the house.

Good work, Jai, I thought to myself. A complete jackass would look mild in front of you.