Not Around The Corner

Lonely Me, Lonely You

I didn't ask for it to be over, but then again, I never asked for it to begin. For that is the way it is with life, as some of the most beautiful days come completely by chance. But even the most beautiful days eventually have their sunsets. ~Anonymous

It had been two days since I broke up with Akash. I cried that night even though I knew what I was doing was right for me. I felt bad and I kind of missed him too. He had been a great friend as well as a boyfriend. But we weren’t meant to be.

I sat in my room in the evening reading a book. I was subdued since that evening. I still wasn’t ready to see Jai. There was a knock on the door and I opened the door to see Nikhil smiling at me.

“What are you doing here?” I asked while I gave him a hug.

“Giving you a surprise,” he said smiling.

“It is a nice surprise,” I said smiling.

“One more surprise,” he said with a wink. “I am going to have to ask you to close your eyes though,” he said. He covered my eyes with his hands and led me out. He removed his hands and asked me to open my eyes.

I opened them to see my parents standing in front of me trying to control their smiles. I smiled a wide smile and ran to both of them. It had been a month since I last saw them. They both hugged me back. We chatted awhile before they went in one of the rooms to freshen up while Nikhil and I continued catching up. Just having all of them back in the house felt good. I needed Nikhil. I was sort of broken and I needed my big brother.

“So how’s Akash?” he asked.  

“Wouldn’t know,” I said looking down.

“What do you mean?” he asked curiously.

“Broke up with him,” I said quietly.

“What?” he asked half shouting. I just nodded.

“Why?” he asked again half shouting.

“Could you lower it down?” I asked irritated.

“You can’t spring something like that and not expect me to be surprised,” he said.

“When?” He asked softly this time.

“Two days ago.”

“Why?”

“I wasn’t in love with him,” I said matter-of-factly.

“There’s more to this story, isn’t there?” he asked curiously. Nikhil could always understand the things I was hiding. Sibling-lie detection sense.

“I think I am falling for somebody else,” I said demurely.

“And which moron would that be?” he asked with a smile. I hesitated for a while. How could I tell him who it was? It was his friend. I was contemplating when he smirked and asked, “Is it the guy who was stealing glances at you in Singapore?”

“He was?” I asked curiously.

“Bloody Jai,” he said under his breath.

“You knew?” I asked him. Was I that in denial?

“Jai is worse,” he said teasingly. I gave him a look. He didn’t have to start with Jai now.

“Answer my question,” I said.

“Jai was so obvious,” he said offhandedly. “I am surprised you were that aloof,” he said.

“I was,” I said. And I gave it a thought. “Maybe I knew what was going on. I passed it on as casual flirting,” I said,” I just didn’t think it was serious initially. Later I just didn’t want to accept.”

“You didn’t want to hurt Akash?” Nikhil asked.

“There’s more to it than Akash,” I said. I had given a great deal of thought to why I had been so ignorant.

“I wasn’t sure of Jai. I actually had something with Akash. Like I knew that he would be there for me whenever I needed him. He was something that I wanted for such a long time, letting go wasn’t so easy. You guys made fun of me, but he was something I wished for. Somebody I wanted to date. And the thought that this ideal sort of fairytale-ish story isn’t working out got me in denial. Also I don’t have that ‘commitment’ guarantee with Jai,” I said. “What if we keep fighting and one day the relationship just stops working?” I asked Nikhil. I was apprehensive of starting anything with Jai.

“Have you had an actual fight?” he asked. I filled him up about the fight that took place the week before. How Jai had been a jerk and then apologised the next day.

“Not like the other day,” he said. “A real one?” he asked.

“No just that fight that day,” I said.

“There you go,” Nikhil said. “You fought because he was jealous. He couldn’t take it anymore and burst out on you. And the way he looks at you I doubt he will continue with the fighting,” Nikhil said with a smile.

I just shrugged. Jai being nice was quite unbelievable since our fight.

“You know Jai got everything in his life?” he asked.

“Always?” I asked.

“Always. He always knew what he wanted and how he wanted to achieve it,” he said. “But when his mom died, he was completely caught off guard. His life turned over. This was something he couldn’t stop from happening. That was the first time he didn’t get what he wanted. He couldn’t cope up and he barely got his graduation done. He missed her so much,” Nikhil said.

“You being the second thing he can’t get. Imagine how difficult it is for him?” he asked. “I know he handled it very badly and you have a right to think about it but I should tell you this about him too. Jai never gave up. He took his mother’s death as inspiration to be as successful as he could be. Show her that he would and could do everything to make her proud. He worked hard after his post-graduation. He could be the company’s CEO in a couple of years. He’ll make all of us proud. What I am trying to say is that guy can be a jerk but he won’t give up on you. He will lose it over you but he wouldn’t lose you,” Nikhil said.

“You really think so?” I asked trying to reassure myself.

“Yup,” Nikhil replied.

I sighed. I would have to take my chance with Jai. “I should find out if it is going to work with him,” I said.

“Give him a chance,” Nikhil said vouching for his friend. “Who knew I would be praising that guy?” he asked rhetorically. I smiled.

“He needs to be in town but,” I said remembering that Jai had disappeared.

“Where’s he?” Nikhil asked.

“Since he ‘couldn’t handle the situation he is taking a break from the city’,” I said quoting Jai from the letter.

Nikhil laughed. “Does he know you broke up with Akash?” he asked.

“Nope,” I replied. “But I’m guessing, you are going to tell him.”

“Once he does, he will be here,” Nikhil said with a wink. I gave him a slight smile. I didn’t know how that was going to go. Or how long it was going to last even if it did start.