Unexpected love - Mattheo Riddle

22

"Good morning!" Pansy yells as she wakes me up, it's the first day of school and I am so excited.
We only have three classes today because Dumbledore said we have to take it slow or something, I don't mind at all.

Mattheo and I haven't talked since our kiss yesterday and I think he's still mad at me for being 'selfish'

"What classes do we have?" I ask her
"DADA, potions and history." She says as she gets up
"Come on we have to get to breakfast!" Pansy says as she pulls me out of bed.

I put on Mattheo's grey sweatpants, a white tanktop and some jordan 4s.
We have to wear our uniform and robe but what are they gonna do? Suspend me?

"Okay come on." I say as I open our door and we leave the room to go to the great hall for breakfast.

"You're going to get yourself in trouble." Pansy says
"Since when do you care about rules?" I question her confused
"You're right, I don't." She says smiling as we walk through the hallways.

"Hey Pans?" I ask
"What's up?" She questions
"Do you think I'm selfish?"
"Sometimes yes, but isn't everyone?" She answers.
"I don't know." I reply
"It's Riddle isn't it?" She asks
"I really like him but he's just so confusing." I tell her
"I thought you two cut it off after Christmas."
"We kissed yesterday, but after he told me that we shouldn't be doing this and he left." I tell her as I look down
"Ow shit." She says
"What?" I ask her confused, as I look up at her.
"Uhm nothing, you know what we should go out for breakfast, wanna go to Hogsmeade?" She asks
"No, we have class, I look the other way and I see Mattheo, with another girl. Laughing and as I stand there, watching them he brushes a streak of her hair behind her ear and he kisses her.

After our last fight I told myself I would be the bigger person and I will be.
Right after I make him feel bad, one last time.

"Mattheo, can we talk?" I ask calmly as I interrupt them flirting.
"I'm busy." He says, before looking at me, he looks exhausted and sad.
"Who's she?" The girl asks
"Who the fuck are you, cunt?" I ask as I come closer to her
She looks me up and down and rolls her eyes, fuck this.
I try to throw a punch at her but Mattheo steps in so I hit him on accident.
The girl sighs and walk away
"That's what I thought." I mumble
"Let's just not... do this." Mattheo says
"Do what exactly? You fucking twat!" Pansy shouts as she comes up to us.
"Why did you kiss me last night?" I ask him with tears in my eyes.
"I- Uhm."
"You knew." I say
"Knew what?" He asks
"You knew that if you broke my heart I would be an easy target for your father." I say as I shake my head no.
"That's not true, you killed him." Mattheo says as he comes closer to me, I look at Draco walking up to us behind Mattheo. He was right.
"Yes I did." I say before turning my back and walking away

As I turn the corner I stand still, not moving but just staring at the ground, not knowing how I will ever recover from this.

"Come on." I hear Theodore's voice as he gently grabs my arm.
"What are you doing?" I ask him
"I'm taking you to your room, Draco wants me to." He answers
"Why can't Draco bring me?" I ask, still looking down.
"He wants to talk to Mattheo." Theodore says, Draco doesn't just talk. He will beat him the fuck up and I don't mind.
"Okay." I answer as I start walking towards my room.

After walking for what feels like only a few seconds because of my thoughts, we get there.
"Can you ask Pansy if she will just leave me alone? I love her but-
"You need to think." He says
"Yes." I reply
"I will. also I'm here for you, I know we don't get along that well but you're still my friend and my best friend's little sister." He tells me as I open my dorm room door.
"Thank you Theo, can you get something for me but not tell my brother about it?" I ask, knowing he will do it.
"Depends." He says
"Just a bottle of vodka or something." I say "I promise I won't drink too much."
"I will get it, but I can not promise you I won't tell your brother." He says
"Okay whatever." I respond
"Thank you." I tell him before I shut the door.

I immediately walk towards my bed and let myself fall onto it after I kick off my shoes, I try to be strong and to not cry but I can't.

The boy I love just kissed another girl, why would he do that?

My heart aches,
Not like the ache you feel in between your eyes when you forget to wear your glasses, or the pain in your stomach when you're on your period.

My heart aches like there are a million hands tearing at it's most sensitive part.
As if it will pour out of my chest like the tears pour from my eyes.

I should have seen the red flags,
He didn't say it back.
Maybe he just wanted me for my body.
No, he isn't like that,
Or maybe he is?

My thoughts overflow my mind, I stare at the ceiling blankly.
I loved staring at Mattheo's ceiling because there were stars on it, I don't think they are still there though. The battle probably destroyed them.

I should have known,
Voldemorts son and the girl who despises him the most, we weren't destined to be together like I thought we were.
I guess opposites don't attract after all.

I get up and walk to my bathroom, I look in the mirror.
I look like a absolute mess, my eyes are puffy and the mascara on my cheeks makes it worse.
My head hurts and I can't stop thinking about the boy I loved, still love actually.

I try to fix the mess, I remove the mascara from my face, I fix my hair and I smile at the mirror.
As I look in the mirror I realize I don't recognize the girl standing there.
Who am I?
I don't know,
I don't think I have ever known.

"Evelyn?" I hear a voice and a knock
"Come in." I say as I sit back down on my bed, my head is pounding and I'm hoping it's Theodore with the vodka.
"Theodore told me to give this to you, he was busy." Lorenzo says as he walks in, I don't want anyone to see me like this.

"Thanks uhm, can you just put it down over there." I say as I point at my drawer.
"Sure." He says as he comes in and he sits down on the edge of my bed after putting the vodka down.
"You don't deserve this." He says
"How do you know?" I question the boy
"I know you, an incredible friend and sister, also a surprisingly good kisser." He says and we both chuckle.
He lays one of his hands on my cheek and he wipes away my tears with his thumb.
"I don't think you should drink." He says
"I think I do." I answer
"Well, then I'll trust you know what's best." He says, what the fuck is he doing.
"Enzo please stop." I say
"Doing what?" He asks as he removes his hand from my cheek
"Ruining our friendship, we will never happen. I'm sorry." I tell him
"It was worth a try." He says
I just chuckle so it isn't awkward.
"Can you tell everyone I want to be alone?" I ask
"I will." He says as he gets up and walks towards the door.
"Bye." I say, he just smiles before leaving.

Finally alone.

I get up and grab the bottle of vodka and the picture frame standing next to it.
'I am proud of you sweetie' The note in the frame says.
My mothers and sisters smile makes me grin.
"I wish I could talk to you guys." I whisper, not knowing why.
"I finally killed him, I also fell in love with his bloody son." I say smiling at the picture.

I open the bottle of vodka and take many sips, I open the drawer of my nightstand and look at the pills remaining in the small bag.
One, two, three, four, five, six of them.
Before thinking I open the bag and I put three of the pills in my mouth, I wash them away with vodka and I lay down in bed, the empty bag on my nightstand and a almost empty bottle of vodka in my hand.

I fall asleep after crying for hours.