Unexpected love - Mattheo Riddle

38

I lay down on the bed as I stare at the ceiling I used to love, I feel nothing when I look at it anymore.
I feel completely numb.

My whole life is a lie, I have killed people because of those lies, my sister even died because of them.

I have no one left, all because of my mother and father.
I wish she was dead, I wish I killed her.

I sit up, and stare at myself in the mirror.
I look really bad, like I haven't slept in a month. It was only three nights.
I stand up, my shirt lifts up a bit and reveals my scar, I hate it.
It reminds me of a battle I didn't even have to fight if my mother didn't fake her death. But also a battle that saved many lives in the future.

I hate this place, I hate this school, I hate most of the people.
I hate myself and my entire life.
I hate the secrets and lies that this place keeps.

I start shoving my clothes into a bag, I am leaving.

When I'm done packing I walk out the door towards my old room, I haven't spoken to Pansy in a while but I assume she knows by now.

"Pans!" I shout after knocking and walking into our dorm.
"Is it true?" She asks as she comes up to me with open arms.
"They all lied Pansy, everyone did." I say as I sob into her shoulder.
"Where are you going?" She questions
"Mattheo said she's in New York, I want to find her." I say as I sit down on the edge of the bed.
"Stay with me, just one more night." She says trying to convince me.
"I can't stay here Pans, it's too much." I answer her as I look down at my hands that are shaking.
"One girls night, I think we both need it. I have missed you girl!" She hugs me and I smile lightly.

I don't know why I'm always being so hard on her, she really is my best friend.

"Did you know?" I question
"When you did." She responds
"Thank you for being honest." I reply
"I'll get us dinner from the great hall, give me a few minutes." She says smiling before leaving our room.

I get up, change into some sweats and a tank top and I grab the journal I haven't written in for a while.

I start writing