It's Complicated...

Apologies Mean The World

As you woke up from a less than comfortable sleep you stretched. The pain wasn't as bad as it was yesterday but it still didn't feel great. You pushed yourself off the floor, holding onto the wall for support.

You slowly made your way back to your room, rubbing your eyes. You heard whimpers as you passed Venable's room but chose to ignore it. You didn't want to see her right now, but you sincerely hoped she was alright.

You get to your room to see your wet clothes gone and a dress laid out on the bed. You figured Mallory had probably come and cleaned your room for you. It wasn't uncommon for her to do that.

You shrug it off and start your morning routine, shower, brushing your teeth, doing your hair etc. Once you're done you try to moisturize the cuts and welts on your back. Then you slip into the dress and go down to the dining hall just in time for breakfast.

You sit down in your regular seat but before Venable comes you ask to switch with Coco. "Yeah sure... why though?" She asked curiously, "I just don't wanna sit next to her" you say plainly. Coco nods and gets up to switch with you, as soon as she sits down Venable walks in.

She looks at the seat change with an unreadable expression but you don't even look at her. The food is brought in and she announces that everyone can eat. The entire time she looks at you, you can feel her gaze burning holes in your skull.

You still don't look at her, not being able to handle whatever it is that it would entail. Venable is quietly sitting there picking at her cube, she heard everything you said. I just don't wanna sit next to her she couldn't blame you for feeling that way.

She knew you probably would never want to speak to her again but it still hurt. After a few minutes of picking at her cube she dismissed everyone and said they didn't have to finish.

Everyone gladly got up and most went to the common room to chat for a bit.
Venable sat there, almost unable to move, her body was glued to the chair. Everyone had gone in a rush and you were still in pain and couldn't move as fast.

So you had just gotten out of your chair and were about to head back into the library. You bent down next to her ear as she looked straight ahead "staring is rude" you whispered. It looked like she was going to say something but you walked away before she had the chance.

You made your way to the library and sat in the quiet room reading Romeo and Juliet. How ironic. You had just begun the second act when you heard the a familiar clicking. You drowned it out and immersed yourself in the book. You didn't even notice when she sat in front of you.

She didn't say anything she just sat there and stared at you reading your book. Once you figured it was about lunch time you closed the book with a sigh. You finally looked up and jumped a bit "holy fuck you scared me... how long have you been sitting there?" You asked as she was sat there suspiciously.

"I'm sorry... not long" she replied looking down at the table. You got up to leave until you heard her whisper something. "What did you say?" You asked annoyed, "I really am sorry" she said sniffling. You went to sit back down, not because you felt bad but because you were intrigued.

You looked at her to keep talking, "I should've never let that happen... I just- I don't know what I was thinking. I wasn't thinking. But I- I..." she trailed off trying to find the right words. She knew what she wanted to say but she was scared.

"You... what?" You asked dryly after a few minutes of silence. She didn't say anything so you got up to leave again, "I love you" she whispered. You heard what she said but you asked what she said to make sure you heard clearly.

She cleared her throat "I love you" she said with a confident voice. You stood there for a moment, not knowing what to say. Thoughts running through your head. She... loves me? What the Fuck? If she loved me she would never hurt me or let someone hurt me.

But I... love her too. You stayed in place, not moving, not knowing what to do or say. She got up and walked towards you, you were frozen with a shocked look on your face.

"I understand if you don't want to talk to me ever again. I just want you to know. I want to do whatever I can to make it up to you even if that means we never speak again. And I also understand if you don't feel the same wa-" you cut her off by pulling her into a passionate kiss.

She stiffened but soon kissed you back, you pulled away slowly. You look into her creamy brown eyes, the ones you so often got lost in. She began to cry and you wiped away her tears with your thumb. "You don't have to cry... I forgive you" you say sincerely.

"But you shouldn't..." she said trying to hold back more tears, but they continued to flow. "Why?" You asked confused, "because I'm a terrible person and all I do is hurt you. I don't care about anyone else... but you... I will forever regret what I let happen. I'm evil and I'm not good for you you're too... nice and perfect and I'll only hurt you" she said sobbing.

You hugged her as tight as you possibly could while being cautious of her back. You remembered as you hugged her, what you did to her back in that shower. You shuddered at the thought and pulled away, she looked at you scared of what you were gonna say.

"I'm sorry too..." you said solemnly, looking at the ground. "What are you sorry for?" She asked confused, "in the shower... I know I hurt your back... and I feel terrible about it. I wasn't even thinking in that moment and I was hitting you and-" she cut you off.

"I deserved it" she said sadly, "no you didn't, no matter what you did you didn't deserve that. Just because I was upset doesn't mean I have to take it out on people, especially you. I just wanted you to know I didn't do it on purpose..." you said looking into her eyes now.

She wiped her tears and tried to hold the flood that was about to come. "How are you so..." she took a deep breath to compose herself. "So... nice. You're the complete opposite of me. You're apologizing even when I'm the one who caused you to be like that. You should HATE me..." she said averting her gaze, she couldn't look you in the eye.

You held her face with both hands and turned her to face you. "I don't hate you... I never could. You are a good person, you do bad things but you're a good person. I can't imagine the things you've been through, but I know something, maybe many things, made you like this...

I'm apologizing because I was wrong, just like you apologized. You were angry and I got hurt in the process, I was angry and you got hurt in the crossfire. It's big that you even apologized, it means a lot to me because I know you. If other people could see this side of you they would love you too... not as much as me though" you said laughing lightly.

She looked into your eyes searching them desperately trying to see if you were lying. But you were telling the complete truth, you loved this woman more than anything. Even when it hurt, physically, mentally,emotionally, you loved her.

"Y-you're serious?" She asked shakily, "about what?" You asked a little confused. "A-about loving me" she whispered. "Of course, I love you more than words Wilhemina" you said softly resting your forehead on hers.

A single tear fell down her cheek as she smiled, she didn't feel like she deserved you and your love. But she would do any and everything to be worthy of you.

A/N
Not that it matter but I think I'll start combining chapters to make them longer cause why not