It's Complicated...

Regret and Confusion

She still hadn't left the bathroom, you could feel her presence. You lifted your head slightly and could see her figure through the blurry glass door of the shower. It looked like she was walking closer, the shower door slowly pulled back.

You looked into each other's eyes, you with sadness and confusion and her with regret and guilt. She then did something you never expected, she rested her cane against the counter and stepped in the shower with you.

She sat down, internally wincing at the pain it was causing her, and wrapped her arms around you. You thrashed in her arms telling her to let you go, her back hit the shower wall continuously.

She whimpered in pain, which you couldn't hear over your screaming, but she held you tighter. You eventually broke down crying in her arms, she held you with silent tears falling down her face. She didn't even know why but seeing you hurting made her heart ache, especially knowing she was the cause.

You leaned up after a moment and just stepped out of the shower without a single word to her. She sat there stunned for a few minutes, then she got up slowly and painfully. She was drenched and cold, she grabbed her cane, turned off the shower, and made her way into your room.

By the time she had finally made it in there she looked around. But all she saw was your wet clothes on the floor and your door wide open. She looked closer and your shorts had blood on them, almost washed away by the shower.

Venable wiped the tears silently falling down her face and walked back to her room. She figured she should give you some space after everything that happened today. She didn't know if she could even handle looking at you after what she'd done.

What she let be done to you, I could've stopped it she thought to herself. Meanwhile you had gone to the library, thinking back to everything from today.

You grabbed your favorite book and sat down on the floor in a secluded corner. "She's such a bitch" you said quietly to yourself, you picked up the book and tried to concentrate. Your mind kept drifting to her holding you in the shower, even though you hit her multiple times, she stayed.

Not that you didn't feel she deserved it after what she let happen to you. But you felt bad for her, you didn't even think about her back jesus christ, her back! You thought. You began to feel extremely guilty, you never meant to actually hurt her. Even though she hurt you... you didn't mean it as a way to get back at her.

You were trying to decide wether to go to her room to apologize or go back to your room. As soon as you tried to stand you fell back down, the endorphins had worn off. You were in so much pain you didn't even think about trying to move again.

You painfully laid down with your head on top of the book and tried to sleep. It was painful but fortunately you managed to finally drift off.

Venable was laying on her bed staring at the ceiling, tears constantly threatening to spill. She really was disgusted with herself for doing that to you. "Fuck space" she whispered, she was going to go apologize to you.

As she tried to move she too felt sharp pains in her back. She convinced herself you probably weren't in there anyway because she knew she couldn't move. She grabbed her sleeping pills because it was too late to take her pain medication.

She found herself waking up a few hours later, tears running down her face. She came to the conclusion that peaceful sleep wasn't going to be a possibility. And she asked herself "why do I feel like this?" She'd never felt this way before. She usually slept like a baby after punishing someone, she would lie about it but, it felt good to her.

She'd always been bullied and felt inferior, it made her feel strong to be feared. But she didn't feel that way with you, she felt vulnerable. The most shocking part to her was that she liked it? She knew she had a soft spot for you since she met you, but she never thought it would lead to this.