March 29 2015 (sorry that irs been a while.)

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Dear diary
I am exhausted by the constant swirling thoughts that have found a home in my head. Do you get so loud on the days that I can't even focus on TV which has previously been my escape from the world. I used to let myself get lost in the lives of fictional characters which allowed me to avoid dealing with the mess that was my own. But now even that has been taken from me. I also haven't cut in a while but I don't know how much longer I can last. The pain gets so bad but the number is worse. Makes me feel like a brain-dead coma patient hooked up to a breathing machine. It's torturous to keep a body alive once the person is gone because we are our souls. We are our personalities, our thoughts, our consciousness. Once we are stripped of those things we are dead despite a heart that is kept eating or the air that is forced in and out of our lungs.

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