April 5 2015

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Dear diary
Today I'm feeling pretty upset. Things just keep getting worse. In my more sane moments, I can see somehow i'm still standing, and I think that maybe this is the path I need to take that is hard but some things I can survive and be stronger and happier for. But I am also tired. And I have my moments where my heart cries out how much more? Could I please have some peace and calm and rightness in my life? Right now the miracle is probably that I am surviving. And I know I should be grateful. And many moments I am. But other moments, I just feel like the crazy is going to suck me in. And I feel scared. Because I don't know how much longer I can stand without falling.

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