Tangerine ~ Bullet Train

1 - "Why don't you all just fuck off, alright?"

Ever since she could remember, Yuina had always felt out of place. Not just with her parents or her peers, but with almost everywhere she set foot and everything she did. At most times she didn't bother much; she liked being left in peace with herself. But there were times she could get worked up about the fact that she felt out of sync with almost everything. There were two exceptions: drawing and the lovely family of her aunt Aya and her husband and their cheerful six-year old son, Riku. Those were the only things that would keep her going for now.

Yuina's mother always wanted her to go study and live on campus, so she could have the biggest group of friends and be popular, but she never cared much for human contact. She cared more for avoiding having to talk to people or being polite. Her parents pushed her every day to be more like them: they were of the abundant and over the top kind, the ones who always visited socializing events just so others could see what they had achieved. The fact that Yuina was nothing like them didn't help their goal at all. They would often yell and scold at her for being different than what they had in mind, and she could sometimes hear her mother cry in the living room to her friends on the phone about how much of a disappointment her daughter was.

Her parents wanted her to hang out more with the group she spent her high school with. They even suggested Yuina would join them on their trip to the music festival, which was being held for several days. Whilst her "friends" would need to beg their parents to let them go to the festival, Yuina's mother would plead for her to go. When her parents finally realised she wasn't going to change, they threatened to throw her out and cut her off. Although Yuina kind of liked to be around books, her little side-job at the bookstore wouldn't be sustainable if she'd live on her own. Her parents knew that; it was their last resort to turn Yuina into the child they wanted. Outgoing. Popular. "Normal" was the phrase they used even. But Yuina knew she wasn't normal, and she also knew she would never be such a thing. But there was nothing she could do. Her parents pushed her into a corner and she had to obey.

So there she was, at Kyoto, packed and ready to go on the bullet train that would get her to Tokyo. Yuina didn't want to be at that stupid festival with her so-called friends. She was really good at adapting in situations and to play the part of a friend, but she never really felt connected with anyone but her aunt's family. She found a bit of solace in the realisation that this stupid festival was being held close to Aya's home. She just had to endure being around her friend group for a few days, until she could spend a whole two weeks at her aunt's place. Yuina was glad they all travelled ahead, so she could still spend a few hours in peace before meeting them. At least, she would've thought so.

'Hey,' she heard a man say for the umpteenth time. She already knew he and his companions were talking to her, but she hoped that if she would ignore them, they would stop talking to her and leave her alone. 'You there, in the red hoodie.' Out of the corner of her eye she could see a few people looking at them with an annoyed expression on their faces, but nobody said anything. They would just let her being clearly bothered by them. That was another reason Yuina didn't like people at all; when there was nothing to gain for themselves, they would kept quiet and just let others being harassed.

'Are you deaf or something?' the man who made the comment about her hoodie said. The group of four men all seemed more than twenty years older than her. She didn't respond. 'Why is it always the hot ones that are so arrogant?' She did her outmost to stay quiet, but Yuina felt almost at her limit. 'You're smoking hot,' the man said. 'I know you can hear me.'

Yuina was being fed up with it. Not only did they make annoying and sexist comments for the past five minutes, but they also didn't know how to take a hint. She managed to keep her calm, whilst in reality her heartrate picked up significantly. She never really felt in touch with anything, but her anxiety would always make her feel scared. The fact that she would always be afraid that she would get a heart attack and die due to her panic attacks, was the only indication that she wanted to live still.

'Yes, I can hear you,' Yuina said. 'I had hoped that me ignoring you would let you take the hint that I'm not interested in anything from you.'

'No? Do you know that red is the colour of passion?' the man replied. Red is also the colour of blood. Hers would rapidly pump around at the moment. She couldn't make up her mind yet about ignoring them again to focus on her breathing, or to get back at them with a witty comment. She knew the type of men they were. They were out to get a kick from frightening people, young adults in particular. She couldn't let them show they succeeded in making her feel very scared, but she was losing this battle. She wasn't capable of keeping a straight face and to repair her breathing and heartrate to what was normal. In their faces she could see that it showed.

'Why don't you all just fuck off, alright?' Yuina almost forgot she was beginning to have a panic attack when she heard the words roll out of the mouth of another passenger who was waiting for the train to arrive. 'What?' the man replied in annoyance. He wasn't used to people speaking against him, but the man in the blue suit and grey, black and white checkered jacket did so anyway. 'Are you deaf or something?' he said in the same voice in which the other had spoken to Yuina. 'I said: fuck off.'

Yuina couldn't handle her reaction; she felt the corners of her mouth curl slightly upwards. This was the witty response she was so desperately trying to come up with. She was surprised that the man in the blue suit did that for her; he was already standing there for about ten minutes and he never said anything. When she looked at him, she could see that he didn't do it for her. He was just annoyed because of their voices and noise.

'Listen, you–' the one from the group began, but the man with the blue suit and pretty cool moustache wasn't having any of it. 'No, you listen, you twats,' he said, 'I am trying to think here, and I'm not able to because of the fucking noise you produce. So if you could just fuck off and give us peace and quiet, that would be fucking amazing.'

Not only the group of men are taken aback by his words, the other passengers that understand English also look at him in shock. But not Yuina. Although she knew he didn't say it for her sake, she was grateful nevertheless. Moreover, she kind of appreciated the way he had spoken out. It felt refreshing to be around someone who didn't act so polite all the damn time. Harassing people was a whole other thing, but she herself would often get tired of being nice to people she didn't even know or would ever see again. The fact that he said that to them so bluntly, threw her off in a good way. She didn't feel fear running through her veins anymore. The upcoming panic attack had vanished.

Although she never cared for people and although he didn't intend to particularly stand up for her, she couldn't help but feeling like she wanted to thank him. So when the group of men removed themselves from their immediate presence, she did just that. 'Thank you, sir,' she said whilst looking at him with a grateful expression on her face. That was the first time he looked at her.

Tangerine was his name, or rather his codename for this mission he was set on with his brother slash partner in crime, Lemon.

At first it was a brief glance. They averted their eyes at the same time, but for some reason they found their way back again. She didn't like to be eyed at by other people at all, but his blue eyes running searchingly across her face didn't seem to bother her very much. She couldn't place it, but there was something in his eyes which made her feel almost calmer. He could see that her transformation from being scared to calm was because of him. He wasn't used to that phenomenon. Usually people would avoid him because of his attitude, but this girl seemed genuinely grateful for it now.

Whilst others would rather avert their gaze immediately, she could held his without flinching. The fact that she would continue looking at him and even thank him for just being himself threw him off very much. He tried to hide that from her. 'You're welcome, love,' he said in a soft voice. She understood it was just his way of speaking and that he didn't mean anything by it. It was just in his accent. Normally he couldn't care less about what he said to another person, apart from playing the decent man, but something made him want to explain his words so that she wouldn't think he was trying to harass her, too. 'I didn't mean it weird,' he therefore said, whilst not knowing why exactly. 'I know,' she replied with a slight smile, after which she looked ahead again.