Tangerine ~ Bullet Train

5 - "Goodbye, Tangerine."

'You said you drew the comic for your cousin earlier,' Tangerine said. 'It looked like it was finished already, and a music festival doesn't really seem like a place you would like to bring them to. Does that mean you will be visiting him soon?' Yuina found him very observative. It felt weird that a stranger seemed to have more interest in her than her so-called friends, but it made her feel very warm to think about her aunt's family, so she would gladly talk about them. 'Yes,' she replied with a genuine smile. Tangerine could see the twinkle in her eyes. 'I will be staying at that festival for four days,' she added sighing, after which she became joyful again. 'After that, I will spend two weeks at my aunt's. Then I will give Riku my drawings.' She couldn't actually wait for the coming few days to be over, because she wanted to be with her lovely family so badly. After she would leave, her "friends" would stay at the festival for three more days before turning back to Kyoto. That meant Yuina didn't have to travel back with them. She was very glad for that.

'It seems like you're really looking forward to spending time with your aunt and cousin,' Tangerine stated, to which Yuina nodded. 'That's right,' she told him, 'they are the only people who make me feel like I belong.'

She didn't mean to confide him in that. What would he be thinking of her now? He must've already thought of her as a wacko, but she surely enlarged that statement by pathetically blurting out those words. 'I'm sorry,' she added quickly, 'that sounded a bit pathetic. I didn't mean it like that, I meant–' She didn't know how to finish her sentence or how to make it seem less weird or pathetic. 'No,' Tangerine quickly said, 'I get it. I don't think it sounded pathetic.'

'You don't?' she asked in all seriousness. She ran her eyes across his face searchingly to find out whether he really meant it. It seemed like he did. 'No,' he repeated. 'I know how it feels to be out of it. Out of sync with people or your surroundings I mean. I–' He didn't know what else to say. He never said such things out loud, he only felt them deep inside. He thought Lemon was the only one who understood, but it seemed like she also did.

They were getting closer to Tokyo by the minute, but they both felt like they didn't want to arrive just yet. They ran out of things to say though, so they just enjoyed each other's company whilst both staring out the window.

This was the first time Tangerine considered his life choices and doubted whether it were the right ones. Due to his job his brother and him were always on the move, sometimes on the run even. He didn't have time to speak to other people, nor did he wanted to. But Tangerine couldn't help considering what it would be like if he had a normal job, one where he would get a pay check and a steady home, instead of moving all the time to complete these tasks he was hired for. Up to this point, he never really thought about living a "normal" life, because these jobs in the underworld made him feel the thrill of it. But suddenly he did think about a life outside of this, where he would be able to be bold and daring and ask her out on a date. He could never; his job was too dangerous for that and he wouldn't drag her into that kind of danger.

It would pass. These strange feelings were randomly there, so they should just randomly vanish again. He just felt this way because up until this point, he never met someone who understood him like she did. He never met someone who appreciated him being who he was like she did. But it would fade. They would never see each other again and in time it would feel like a distant dream, nothing more. It would pass, he would made sure of it. But he wasn't quite ready to let it pass just yet.

Yuina had never thought her trip to Tokyo would go like this, but here she was, conflicted about having to say goodbye to someone she just met. Who would've thought? Nobody would believe her if she would tell anyone, but she wasn't even planning on it. Still, would the memory she had of this moment always be real? Would she in time consider herself making it all up? She tried to suppress the urge to make this encounter tangible. She needed something, anything, as a reminder of this man being real.