Apartment

Apartment // Seventeen.

WARNING: ALCOHOL ABUSE AND SEXUAL SITUATIONS.

"Harry wake up. Harry wake up!" I say trying to get my best friend off of me.

His hand is naturally on top of my breast as he spoons me, his leg over my body I start squirming my body, but I feel on my butt something I don't want. My squirming made me brush myself against Harry causing him to have an erection. I lie still awkwardly, until he finally wakes up.

When he does he notices what has happened to him & he goes completely red. "I'll leave you alone," I say chuckling lowly.

"No don't," he suggest "maybe you can take care of it."

For a second I think about it, but I quickly wipe the idea from my mind. Not him, I think. I leave the room, to which I find everyone else awake eating some left over pizza from last night. I feel shitty for scaring them so I make them a nice pancake and eggs breakfast. Harry joins us mid breakfast, he hugs me from behind kissing my cheek, like couples do.

I look at Calum who is wide-eyed who then looks at Matty, who looks at me sadly then away. Others notice our exchanges, but no one dares to say anything.

I have to go to work so I tell them to make themselves at home as I get ready. I hop in the shower, then change and do my make up.

My beautiful friends cleaned up like the sweethearts they are before leaving. Harry, Matty & George stayed, they're watching T.V.

"I'm taking you to work neighbor," George offers.

"Why?" I question but then I realize they're still worried about the events that took place last night. "Oh never mind... I'm fine but it would be nice to not be alone on my way there." I smile at George.

I give Harry a kiss on the cheek to which he gives me the tightest hug I've ever gotten. I do the same to Matty he giving me the longest hug ever. "You're going to make her late mate." Harry tells Matty.

"Oh sorry just thought she could use another really good hug." He smiles at Harry, who doesn't suspect a thing.

"Yeah I did." I smile back at him.

On my ride to work, George lowers the volume of the radio, he asks "what's up kid? Why did you nearly kill yourself last night? I never thought of you as someone that would."

I sigh "me neither but I don't know. Well I do but I'm only telling you but you have to promise to not to tell anyone."

"I promise," he replies.

"I fucked this guy. I don't know who he was, but all I know was that I wanted to. But when we started I still wanted him but not the way I thought. I didn't want something that didn't mean anything. I don't but I feel like I'm trying to fill this void inside me." I said my voice shaking. "He was trying to do the same and it felt great not to be alone but I finally realized that my life has been so fucked up and it just consumed me, it has been eating me and I feared there would be none of me left so I just thought of cutting my life short."

"So it's not you believing nobody wants you or you don't belong?" George asked.

I answered back "no it's me being selfish and just giving up."

We finally arrived at my job. He parked. "You know what kid, you're okay and you're going to be okay. You've been suffering because your meant to be more than okay. I've been calling you kid because you've got to realize happiness is a choice. You've got to make the choice to be happy. You have to be selfish at times so you could be happy even if it hurts people. So go out there and be happy not just okay."