Apartment

Apartment // Nineteen.

"Do we? Do you know what time it is?" I ask trying my best not to sound mad.

"Yeah," he answers sheepishly while looking at his watch "it's 1:02 a.m."

I roll my eyes and head back to what I was doing "always listen to what the other person has to say, that's the key. So talk."

It seems as if I'm not paying attention, but I am, I really am interested in what he has to say. Matt clears his throat "I would like to start this off with an apology, only because I apologize for everything, not because I mean it. I did nothing wrong, I am a grown man, I can hook up with anyone I like. At the party, I was a bit drunk and Deb came onto me..."

"Do you think that's why I got mad?" I ask him, he doesn't respond, he's stunned "Matt? Well it's not, yeah you can hook up with anyone, but the thing is you told me you loved me, you even dared to question me for me questioning you? Then you went on to say 'It's not like we are together,' you were right, but if you loved me why weren't we? Don't you dare say it's because of Harry, because love is bigger than him. I was mad because I fooled myself into thinking that I was in love with you."

"So you're not?" He asks, I saw his eyes glaze, but not like they normally do.

"No" I sigh, " and you don't love me. That's why you fucked Deborah."

"You shagged Harry?" Matt says almost unsure.

I giggle "no, it was more than that. He loves me you know."

Matty sits next to me, he pulls out what seems like a new cigarette pack out of his pocket, he takes one out now there only being 4 left out of the 10. He offers me one, but I decline. "He does, doesn't he? Maybe that's why Deborah came into my life, so we could get shit straightened out."

"I guess," I say staring at the blank screen of my television "is she just a one time thing?" I dare to ask.

"Yeah, it's not like it will go anywhere, I'm going back home next month. Plus she's kind of an arse." He says taking a long drag. "Luna?"

"Yeah?" I ask.

"I hope when I leave, you see me as me; that I'm not half as bad as you've been told. Don't you dare say you haven't heard things about me. I've tried my best to get better but I was such a fuck up." Matt says starting to apologize.

"You've showed me that already, you are not your past." I say reassuringly. We sit there, I start doodling on a fresh page, he still smoking. I soon realize I'm drawing him, but he isn't coming out like I want him to "I don't even know you. We've spent so much time fucking, that I haven't even gotten to know you."

He looks at me stunned "I don't know shit about you, either."

We go back to our previous positions, not knowing what to say to each other. He then asks me "Harry looked happy today he even mentioned you guys being together?"

I can't help but grin, the future looks bright "yeah, it's been a long time. It's weird if I'm being honest."

"He's exactly what you need, are you going to tell him about us?" He says playing nervously with his fingers.

"No. It's not like I'm lying to him, he doesn't even know the worst thing Chris ever did to me." I say like it's nothing.

We sit there is the quiet awkwardly once more. I get up and make us both a cup of tea, which he thanks me for. I don't know why but I don't want him to leave, I rather have him awkwardly be here than me be alone. Then I dare to ask him "you want to stay here tonight?"

He looks at the time it's nearly 3:00 a.m. "Yeah, if you don't mind? It's kind of late and I don't feel like walking home and I heard what happened with your car so you can't take me. Oh shit, are you okay? No one hurt you right?"