"Why are you crying again? Why-- where is Matty?" Harry asks me.
I am currently curled up on the floor, my chest seems to be my only comfort place. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Harry sits next to me, holding me close, his arm wrapped around me and I finally lay my head on his welcoming chest. "Tell you what?"
"Why didn't you tell me why he's so broken? Why I have to help him? Why you want me to fix him? I can't fix him, I can't help him." I cry out.
I am looking at the floor, all hope is gone for Matty. He can't possibly change his mind, he is too stubborn. I don't know why this is hurting me so much, which leads to Harry asking: "why are you so distraught? I know you care but Luna, you're hysterical. I knew his brother, I was devastated, I still am... but I knew him; but you didn't and you're nearly as sad as I was."
I don't know what to answer, but I grab his hand I put it on him chest, right above my heart. "Because... because I've got to know Matty. Because I've seen Matty. Harry haven't you noticed why he is the way he is? The way he looks at the world even though he says he is fine? Why ge does the things he does?"
"He doesn't allow himself to be happy and he does drugs to help him ignore the pain because he thinks he doesn't deserve to feel anything." He replies swiftly.
I'm taken aback, I thought I was the only one who noticed.
"I guess I take it personally..." I sigh "ever since Chris, all I want is to be happy; because I felt nothing but fear with him. Living in fear is not living at all. Just like Matty, living numb isn't living.
Harry squeezes my hand tight, and brings me closer to his chest and whispers "I love how much you care, I do. I've always have. But this empathy isn't going to help anyone, it's killing you. Luna once you set your mind on something you can't let go and this heartbreak you feel because of Matty isn't going to help him, but mess you up."
I gather myself, he is right, crying and feeling sorry for Matty isn't going to help him. Crying over him isn't going to help. I don't love him, Harry is right once I set my mind to something I don't give up. This summer I'm helping him, nothing more.
"Thanks Harry." I say finally looking at him.
Once he see's me his eyes are sparkling more than ever, "you're so damn beautiful Luna." He whispers. Our faces only inches away.
I look back down "no I'm not, I must be so sweaty after that run and hideous after all those waterworks."
He lifts my chin up, "you're always beautiful, not matter what." He leans in close and kisses my lips. My lips are in sync with his. Harry's touch feels amazing, this is the love that I felt I needed. But woth Harry, it's not right.
"Harry..." I whisper separating us. I may feel vulnerable, but I'm not going to lead him on.
"I'm sorry," he says "I just can't help it." He says getting up going to the living room.
I follow him "you can't control love..."
He weakly smiles at me, the room is silent for a while. I close my eyes finally enjoying the peace I've wanted all morning. "I should get going." I say breaking this wonderful silence.
"Let me drive you home." He suggests.
I decline, "no I'm fine. As you know, I'm rather fond of walking"
"I am aware of that, but you fainted so I'm not letting you go on your own." He argues. I give in, Harry wraps his arm around my waist as I walk to his car.
On the way to my house I dare to ask "is this weird for you? Honestly? Do things feel different now that you've told me?"
He sighs, "In all honesty, yes. I can't help to have this feeling of hope that you'll change your mind." He smiles "I'm not giving up on you Luna."
I find it kind of flattering but saddening at the same time. He grabs my hand with one hand "I don't mean to pressure you in any way, I'm just saying I'd wait for you."
I look at our hands, it's crazy how perfectly they fit into each other, like puzzle pieces. Once I arrive to my building we say our goodbyes, Harry pecks my lips to which I rolled my eyes and he laughs his contagious laugh.
I walk up my whining steps and force my apartment door open once more. Once I enter, the ghost of Harry telling me he loves me and I telling him I don't lingers in here. I walk towards my bedroom, I remember the day we slept together, it was amazing.
But now Matty's ghost roams these walls, in every room of my apartment; it's insane how we had all that energy.So I decide it's time for a change, I clean the whole apartment. I broom, mop, wash the windows, and reposition every piece of furniture I can. I throw away useless things, like old magazines I don't read. I pack up clothes I don't use anymore, in hopes of donating it to charity. I go as far as cleaning out the fridge and cleaning my part of the fire escape. I change the curtains in every room, I light incense hoping the rooms energy will change.
I clean my restroom and finally shower. It's nearly 6 in the evening when I finish. I walk to my bedroom, noticing I didn't change the sheets. They must smell like Matty and I, it must smell like him, something I don't want to remember. I change into my Dr. Martens, high waisted shorts and a vintage David Bowie baseball tee.
I fix my hair into double space buns on the side of my head; and I gather my sheets and throw them into the washer.I gather some chips and a can of coke, ignoring the thought of making dinner. I turn on the television and The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug is giving. Now this is the perfect way to start a new change. About 30 minutes into the movie there is a knock at my door. My heart starts racing, without a thought I run towards it, in hopes that it's Matty.
I open the door, with a smile on my face, that soon drops.
I guess changing the way your home looks doesn't mean change.
I guess it doesn't keep the ghosts away.
I'm now learning that he who should not be named, does hear you.
Speak the devils name twice and he shall come."Luna." He speaks.
I am staring at the ghost of my past, I don't feel a thing at first, but the feelings come back again. The fear in my veins is overpowering "Chris..." I stutter.I've spoken his name for the third time; the man who nearly destroyed me has entered my life once more.
---------------------------------------------
A/N: HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS STORY SO FAR? LET ME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS!I KNOW THIS IS A LOT TO PROCESS IN JUST A WEEK OF TIME IN LUNA'S WORLD BUT, THERE IS SO MUCH TO DO IN JUST A 3 MONTH PERIOD THIS STORY WILL TAKE PLACE!
ANYWAYS, PICTURE ON THE SIDE/ABOVE IS ON LUNA'S EX BOYFRIEND (whom abused her) CHRIS MILLINGTON!
Disclaimer: Model, Chris John Millington is not associated with the personality of this character, he is merely just the face of the character.
COMMENT YOUR IG's SO I CAN FOLLOW YOU!
YOU ARE READING
Apartment
FanfictionThe true mind can weather all the lies and illusions without being lost. The true heart can touch the poison of hatred without bring harmed.