Apartment

Apartment // Twelve.

"I'm not the same man I was Luna, I hope you can believe me when I say this. I'm glad you left me, it made me realize that I was a fuck up, that I had to change, that you mean more to me than you'll ever know. It fucking hurt when I lost you, but I know damn well I deserved it. I deserve hell because I hurt you." Chris spoke as I laid my head on his bare chest and he embraced my naked body. "I'm sorry that I let you down, but I turned around; back to the boy you fell in love with. Not the coward that brought you down. I know you had your whole life planned out but I wasn't part of it, but you let me in and I ruined everything. The only reason I could live with myself is remembering that I was there for you through the good times and the bad, before I became that monster. I have no one to blame but myself, and I realized that. I went into rehab and anger management... It still doesn't feel like enough but I've been cleaning up my act. I am scared of that man that man that I was, I hate him. I don't ever want to be that beast again." Tears roll down his face, his voice begins to break but Chris quickly collects himself.
"Luna you're the one who kept me going while I was in Europe, there were nights that I didn't care if I ever woke up again. But this doesn't matter to you, because you'll never believe that I change only the universe knows that."

I can't believe I'm sayimg this so easily but I know in my heart, from the moment I saw him again, that he wasn't that man. That monster that he was, was just a part of him. The oart of him when he drank. When he sobered up, he tried to make it up, but the reason I left was because he knew how he got when he drank and he continued to do so.
I reply "I know you've changed Chris; so shut up, if I didn't think that I wouldn't have slept with you." I say sitting up facing him as he still laid in bed. His body is hypnotizing and remembering what we just did a couple moments, again I feel weak, in the best way possible. As he traced kisses on my body, he reminded me what it was like to be loved. I lost my virginity to this man, so he'll always be a special part in my life. He touched me so gently, I could still feel his hand caressing my bare skin, but then I felt electric with every thrust."but I might not be the same girl you fell in love with."

He too sits up, thinking, I can tell he never truly thought about that. He smiles, that smile that makes me smile, I didn't feel lost but I felt as if he found me again. "Then I'd like to fall in love with you all over Luna."

"Are you suggesting--?" I am cut off.

"Yes. A date. Will you go on a date with me?" He asks.

I hadn't been on a date in ages since Harry, which was a wonderful disaster. How could I give this opportunity up? I want to fall in love with him again. I want to fall in love.

*
I arrived at home, I close the door behind me smiling, grinning like an idiot.

"Why are you so happy?" Harry asks, scaring the life out of me.

"Shit holy shit! Harry how did you get in?" I shout.

"George." He answers nonchalantly.

I mumble "I've got to take that key away from him."

He clears his throat "you never answered my question."

I sit on my couch, "it's a beautiful day Harry Styles, the world is turning directions." I hear a ruckus in my room and someone washing their hands. Seconds later I hear footsteps walking behind me, "Matty..."

He awkwardly smiles "hey."

I get up, trying to wrap my head around what is going on. "Okay, what are you doing here?" I say backing up. I feel all my feelings for Matty coming back and the ones for Chris, clashing. There is a war inside my body, my heart, my mind and soul. My smile quickly fades away.

"Happy Birthday," Matty says.

"That was days ago," I reply coldly.

"Yeah, but I wasn't there--" he begins to explain.