Apartment

Apartment // Ten.

I awake, only to find myself alone. The events of last night drained, I look at the clock, it's 6:30a.m. It seems I'm not going back to sleep anytime soon. I get up, brush my teeth and go back to bed, I feel like wallowing. Wallowing on what? I don't know.

I put Benny & Joon on the television and I fall asleep within an hour.
I don't know whether I'm having a dream or nightmare, but I'm alone. I'm in the middle of the forest, the creatures are my only friends, there's no humans to be seen. For once in my life I feel true serenity, but I'm alone. I have no one to talk to but myself and furry creatures, who are not very good at holding conversations. Finally I see a figure, a person in fact I can't make out if it's male or female but it is a person. I try calling for them, they hear they do but they don't reply.
The last thing I remember is me sitting in the dark forest, next to a fire, but my eyes aren't s my eyes, they're black orbs, nothings there but I have a genuine smile on my face, I looks so happy. Then the figure appears behind me, covered in their hooded cloak, holding a gun against my back, they pull the trigger.

I'm awoken by the screams of my best friends, all of them, from Harry to Violet, from Ashton to George, all of them except Matty.
"How did you guys get in?" I ask annoyed, today is the day I turn 20, what a horrifying number.

"George has your key remember?" Adam says. This is what I get for giving him my key 'incase of an emergency.'

I look at them all of them, smiling at me, they all look so content, I wish I felt that way. Suddenly I see Calum looking at my chest, I look around to see if anyone else notices him.

"Calum you perv! Stop looking at my boobs." I laugh.

He turns bright red "shit, sorry but your shirt, I can see through it."

Before I can do anything Violet announces "I got it." cupping my breasts.

"Geez, thanks Vie."

"Anytime." We all laugh, she yet letting go of my breasts, I pry her hands away and cover up. They tell me to get ready, to which I do.

They're all dressed formal, to which I follow. But today is one of those days that I don't feel as if I have to try. I wear a simple floral halter jumpsuit & let my natural hair flow. I don't put on make up, what's the point right?

It's nearly noon when we leave, everyone in separate cars, I ride with Harry. I'm tired, but he planned this day out for me, like the best friend he is.

As we drives he keeps looking back at me, smiling.

"What are you looking at?" I ask him.

He laughs "you, who else?"

"Why?" I question.

Harry admits "you're not wearing make up, I like it. It reminds me of the day we..." He pauses, "slept together. You're ravishing."

I smile at his words, he always knows how to make me smile. Suddenly a Queen song plays on the radio causing me to think of Matty, to which I ask. "Where's Matty?"

Harry sighs at my question "he got intoxicated and went back to my place. He's been throwing up since yesterday, so he's resting now."

"Oh." I simply answer. This is my fault, he wouldn't have gotten intoxicated if I didn't force him to give me an answer. If I didn't force him into telling me that his brother committed suicide. He'd be sober and be here with all of us, having fun. He'd be here with me.

"It's not your fault," Harry adds "I know you beat yourself up over situations like these. It was his choice to get wasted, which leads to a hangover. It was not your choice or fault. So cheer up it's your birthday."