(Completed Jenlisa)
You're tuned to Dawn FM;
The middle of nowhere on your dial, so sit back and unpack. You may be here a while. Now that all future plans have been postponed and it's time to look back on the things you thought you owned. Do you r...
Living in this city has brought me ideal thoughts of speculation. I feel threatened by the bare barrier between me and the wind. As my motorcycle accelerated with speed, my eyes narrowed at the road. At the feeling of being the only being to face the wind and destiny with a sweet taste in my mouth.
Neither did it phase me, nor will death prevent me from being here, living the moment, and challenging the road with my bike, even if I'm running out of time.
Even with the advice of a doctor, nothing could slow me down.
The road was as smooth as a black river, with wheels that slid along effortlessly. The scenery took on an almost meditative quality as my motorcycle sped along, the light illuminating the hues of each tree and the houses.
The road does not rise or fall; it is I, who does the moving. It's right there every day, and I can ride its highs and lows anywhere. It can get very hot in the summer, but in reality, it's just giving back what it took in, finding balance as the dawn approaches, ready for each new day.
I remember throwing down stones and leaping in time to our rhymes.
I see the road right now, these shoes feeling how it softly pushes forward. And at that moment, I hear it calling to me with its sweet song of other places, all of which are linked by the breathing land that runs beneath that tarmac, beneath the oceans.
I had always imagined this road leading to the city, but in reality, every part of it is still. Perhaps, like time, it is only one moment at a time, with no forward or backward movement. The road is the road, and it is my imagination that imagines the purpose, the reason for the tarmac over the land. Maybe that's how it should be, with my own choice and purpose.
I chose to come here, to come back to see her.
Jennie Kim is my ex-lover. She's the woman that I was ready to fight for. That I was willing to enjoy the rhythm of the waves and to dwell upon a time, just to love her. But, as soon as things got hard, she decided to run away, to live in another town, just to stay away from me.
I seem to be the monster, the one that is possessive over the toxicity, but foolish humans don't get to be blamed when in love. Being in love can be agonizing if you aren't certain that the person you love reciprocates your feelings in the same way. Fear and the desire to be loved, nurtured, and protected, just as you want to love, nurture, and protect the one you love, cause pain. You want to 'come home,' but you're not sure if it's your home or if you'll be able to keep it for as long as you need it emotionally.
When you either get together or move on, that stage should be over. If it continues after you get together, something is wrong because you should now feel safe and assured that the other person loves you as much as you love them.
One who keeps you insecure has no love for you but possession of you.
They love you conditionally.
Our love was like burning flames, a mountain of doubts, shattered glass, and loud screams. A second we would be so in love, fulfilling today and not worrying about the future. And the next thing I know is her arms around my neck, kissing me and pushing me away until I bleed out with the pure torture of her love.
The temptation to hold her comes in.
I demand more of her, want to see more of her, love her in ways that weren't bearable. Let her breathe in my love and choke her until she's begging for air. I knew she liked the rough side of me. But, she would start yelling at me, until all I see is the color red, and my hands were bloody and cold.
She was my perfect match, made from hell.
Though she ran.. I chased.
It's been two years.
Two damn years and I still can't wrap my head around her leaving.. without any explanation.
I slow down and park my motorcycle, by this bar. As soon as I take my helmet off, I notice a manly figure standing by the bar with a couple of men. Rationally, I shrug my thoughts away and try to make my way inside but the man stops me. "Nice bike, is it yours?".
I squinted my eyes at the sun and nodded at him. He was a tall figure, that seemed like he was in his early 30s, if I may assume. Men don't disconcert me, and neither do their looks. I then nodded at him and managed to enter the bar, but I knew damn well, that he followed me.
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"What model is that?". He asked one more time.
"Triumph Thruxton RS". I bluntly answered as the bartender stopped in front of me and asked, "Ma'am, what would you like to drink?".
"Beer".
As I tried to reach for my pockets to pay, the man sat down next to me, "You don't have to, it's on me".
I started losing my cool as I swiftly turned to him, "I'm paying for myself".
"It's alright, I insist".
I took a cigarette out and heard him speak, "So, Triumph Thruxton RS? Isn't that motorcycle's engine 1,200-cc parallel-twin?". I nodded and lit my cigarette, avoiding staring at him, rather than waiting for the bartender.
"A very modern, sporty, and comfortable motorcycle disguised as a lovely classic cafe racer. That's very classy". When I looked at him, he was smiling while almost zoning out. I puffed the smoke out and muttered, "You will never know when to shut the fuck up, don't you?".
He seemed taken aback, but nonetheless, he remained smiling. "You aren't from here, aren't you?".
"No".
"What have you troubled that you decide to come here?". The man looked curiously at me.
"Mind your own fucking problems before you ask about mine". I calmly muttered.
"Sharp". He looked at the bartender who handed me my drink, "I don't see girls like you around here".
I gulped the liquor down my throat and turned to look at him, with a blank facial expression, "Maybe you should keep your eyes more open then". He didn't even have any time to respond as I asked, "Know somewhere I can stay the night?".
He raised his brows. "I can offer to take you in, for tonight". I gave him a deadly glare, but the man just chuckled, "You could meet my girlfriend. She's friendly and she can prepare some dinner, you know you can get to know her if you don't know anyone around here".
