Phantom Regret

Chapter Twenty Three: Heartbeat

Lisa

"Not when I'm still here".

Staring into her eyes brought me peace, it was vivid chaos to my heart and a battle for my mind. I've learned love through her because there is a beautiful connection in wanting to make someone see the divine love in this universe. My love for her was running through my veins if only she was able to see it.

Her cheeks swiftly turned into a darker shade of pink, before I was able to tease her about it, she got up as I looked like a lost puppy who sat on the grass, tilting my head at her.

"Get up, I don't have all day".

"What? Where are you going?".

"You meant we".

I blinked at her and watched her roll her eyes, but I did as told and walked after her, with a smirk, "So you do care about my well-being".

Jennie rolled her eyes and commanded, "Get in". Motioning at my parked bike.

"Why so demanding?". I complained.

"Why can't you do as I say without shutting the fuck up?".

I bit back a smile as she hopped on the back, holding into me like a koala. "Why are you holding into me so tight? You realize that I can't breathe like that right?".

"Maybe because I don't want to fall off, Lisa-ya". Jennie sarcastically mutters, I secure our helmets before leading us back to the roadway.

She decides to show me the directions to this place. And to say that it was beautiful is an underestimation of how pretty it really is. There was a tiny bridge, that was just across this tiny river and stream of water. "Woah".

"Stop drooling and get off this bike".

The place looked like a hidden secret from the world, with only Jennie's eyes and mine to see. I could wander all day but still be surprised at how much beauty was held down by the reflection of the water, the bridge, the rocks that seemed to all be made from heaven.

I grabbed her hand and started sprinting towards the bridge with a smile on my face. "Lisa! I never crossed the bridge, what are you doing?".

"Showing you the real meaning of fun!".

"It could be broken for all we know!".

"Stop worrying!". The bridge made a lot of noises as we crossed it. I can sense the fear Jennie had, by the tight grip she had on my hand.

To our surprise, there was a waterfall by the end of the bridge. I pulled her with me to the water but she stopped in her tracks, "Do you want me to die?".

"Jennie, you're a great swimmer. You should be worried about me since I'm the one who can't swim".

She just laughed and allowed me to pull her to the water.

"I don't want to get wet". Jennie whined—not realizing her words until she looked at me and saw the smirk on my face.

"I didn't mean it like that, you pervert!".

Her cheeks heated up.

I splashed the water on her face.

"You didn't just intentionally do that, did you?".

"Oh, I did". I replied to her.

Jennie just rolled her eyes as we stayed there, watching the waterfall and enjoying the nature around us. This time, the silence was comfortable. It's like the silence that comes before a storm.

My eyes lit up at the sight, "There is a rainbow!".

I pointed at the waterfall.

"Or maybe you're just gay". Jennie commented on my remark but then noticed the rainbow as well.  She bit back a smile and as her eyes lingered on me, my gaze remained focused on nature.

"I came here whenever I was.. anxious and scared". She gently whispered, "Whenever I realized that my life isn't the way I planned for it to be. Also.. whenever they made me see the bad in me and made me hate myself".

She referred to her parents.

Jennie was opening up, so I listened carefully, never daring to interrupt, "Whenever I thought of you".

"You might view me as a weak, narcissistic, yet manipulative woman who gets what she wants or plays with you whenever she feels like it. But that's not the case, Lisa". The feline's eyes pleaded, "I'm often controlled by my fears, by things that are out of my or your control".

"I don't see the good in everything because I've learned that everything good comes to an end.. but I didn't want that with you".

My heartbeat quickened as she spoke.

"I wanted things to last forever with you, and I think that scared me. You were the only one who could offer me their hand and I would hold it without a doubt in this universe, Lisa".

"You showed me true love for what it truly is, but the consequences came in after I broke us up and decided to leave". She lifted her hand and placed it on my cheek as I melted. "Who.. who am I without you?".

Soft sobs came out of her, but I shrug my head and wiped her tears, "Don't be such a crybaby now". I tried to joke around but she rolled her eyes, "The one time I express how I feel, you call me a crybaby, Lisa-ya".

"I'm joking". I smiled at her as her face softened.

The moment was sweet between us, the playfulness present as I splashed water on her face and watched her squint her eyes at me. Moments later, I picked her out of the water, she wiggled against my hold as I led us out of the water.

I had a smile on my face as my chest heaved with deep sighs.

I knew where these sighs were leading to..

Jennie interrupted the silence.

"Lisa?".

"Yeah?".

"Why are you always protecting me and here for me.. when I always push you away?".

And you question, Jen.