Lisa
"Why are you always protecting me and here for me.. when I always push you away?".
She questions my heart.
My heart greets the goodbyes.
I simply replied with the truth, "Because I love you".
"Love doesn't have any limit, nor does it have to be for the one to be content with it so it can bloom or remain. My love for you is created in the deepest shades of rain and I promised you, Nini, remember?".
Her gaze studied me as I spoke.
"I promised I would never leave".
I held her by her waist as her breath hitched, fire and electricity shooting right through me once she leaned in closer.
My love, Jennie.
Play it.
"Yet you kept your promise". Jennie weakly smiled. "That's why I..".
I didn't wait for her to say it.
I kissed her away, our lips moved together as I pulled her closer than ever to me. Jennie kissed me back, her lips were the softest ones I've felt on mine. Rockets of butterflies wash over the scene as we kiss each other, with so much hunger, lust.. and love?
Love.
She pulled away, out of breath.
We decided to lay down and watch the sky like two fools.
"Lisa?".
"Yeah?".
"I want you".
I smiled at the woman beside me.
My breath hitched at her gummy smile.
How can someone manage to look this beautiful even while staring at the sky? There were crimson thoughts latching on the back of my head as I stared at her.
It had me wondering, for how long has Jennie been doing this for her parents? If I'm going, to be honest, I'm the rebellious type. I would go out of my way to do what I want, but Jennie was the opposite. She hides under the thought of being so good.
Being an angel, who gets praised by them for holding herself back from her freedom.
It saddened me.
"You want me?". Almost like a child, my eyes lit up but I refused to just trust her words, no matter how much I love her.
She left me.
It burns.
She decided to give up on me.
I gulped hard, It's absurd how she always knew I would chase her.
"Yes, Lisa". She moved her head to the side to meet my intense gaze, "I always have".
"Jennie, then w-why.. why did you never want to make me feel wanted?". My eyes watered up, "I just want to know why, I deserve an answer, don't you think?".
She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
As expected.
"It hurts, Jennie", I licked my lips, avoiding the heavy brick that has settled on top of my heart, that has slowly made its mind, in search of an exit.
"I.. I don't have time". I whispered my truth to her.
My breathing started slowing down, and the worry embraced those eyes, but it was too late because my body has already started giving up on me. "Lisa? Baby, please, breathe".
I faintly smiled and laid my head on the ground, "Shit, I didn't think it will happen sooner".
"What? What do you mean?". I avoided answering her question.
"When you leave here, there is a flight waiting for you back in Seoul. My best friend Jisoo will take you to her house with her girlfriend, Chaeyoung. You w-will be safe there, Jisoo is a cop, I told her about the documents and everything, yeah?".
"What's that supposed to mean?". Jennie's voice became shaky.
"Do you trust me?". I whispered with tears in my eyes.
She nodded rapidly.
I didn't speak, simply grabbed her hand and placed it on the top of my chest, as she felt my heartbeat. She blinked away her tears, but I still saw them. Every tear, trickled down; reminding me of the day we let go of one another.
One of her tears fell on my cheek.
I closed my eyes and explained, "I was supposed to get a heart surgery done to me, long ago. The doctor told me to be cautious about riding the bike, or coming here and not getting it done, but I couldn't help it.. I just had to search for you, Jen".
"Lisa..".
"Shh, hear me out". I placed my index finger on her pretty lips and gazed at them longer—trying to not get emotional, but every breath was a clear sign of suffocation.
"There was a low percentage of that surgery being successful anyway, so I.. I wanted to see you for the last time, wanted to fight for who I love for the last time, cause maybe I get to kiss you before it all washes away and.. I vacate".
She cries, "L-Lisa".
I took a deep shaky breath, "You know they say.. you gotta be heaven, to see heaven".
"Don't say that, Lisa". Jennie cried, "Please, w-we can go get it done and you will come back stronger than e-ever". I shrug my head, and pulled her hand to my lips, just to kiss the back of it and allow myself to feel all the emotions I have bottled up.
"It's too late, just stay here". I whispered, "Kiss me before the heavens take me".
With that being said, she kissed me. Our lips moved slowly until my body started giving up, my mind getting empty and my heart slowing down with every shot of her love.
Every bullet that I dodged.
"Lisa?".
She called.
"P-Please, answer me".
But I couldn't answer.
Not when my soul was giving up on me.
"I love you".
Not when I waited so long to hear her say it.
"I've always loved you".
Not when the veil is pulled back, as my soul depletes, far away from her.
Far away from love and what the world owned.
But this; this her phantom regret.
To reminisce over what could've been, tracing the edges of a long-lost opportunity of love, only to realize that it's too late.
The realization sets in;
I'm Jennie's phantom regret.
THE END.
YOU ARE READING
Phantom Regret
Fanfiction(Completed Jenlisa) You're tuned to Dawn FM; The middle of nowhere on your dial, so sit back and unpack. You may be here a while. Now that all future plans have been postponed and it's time to look back on the things you thought you owned. Do you r...
