Phantom Regret

Chapter Twenty Two: Here

Lisa

"Lisa, I.. I'm so sorry".

She cries, "I.. I failed you".

For once, she apologized but apologies won't fix what's already broken. I weakly smiled and whispered, "Shh, it's okay. I'm here now".

"It was their plan, they wanted to get out of trouble through me and you know how much I love my parents".

It was true, Jennie has always been the good kid. That surely didn't surprise me in any way. "I might have left you, Lisa". Her hand reached for mine, "But, I had no intention of being with him".

"Why did you leave me, Jennie?". I softly asked.

She faintly smiled, like I was asking the obvious.

Silence came through, the waft played in the background as a soft muse. "I don't normally see myself in a serious relationship that would last forever. You can call me a masochist—someone who enjoys the pleasure of the honeymoon but runs away when things get serious. It feels like everyone will leave me, so as a self-defense mechanism, I run away before the storm comes, leaving whoever is with me, in that storm. It might sound selfish as well, but that's the only way I can protect myself".

"Protect yourself? From me?". I asked in broken whispers.

Jennie sighed heavily, her fingers trapping my thumb as she responds, "Kind of, but mostly I tend to confuse neglect with independence because my sense of independence grew out of familial pressure to be self-reliant. I couldn't let myself rely on you, or let you in without feeling like a burden, I always felt like I was lacking".

I tried to understand where she was coming from.

A sigh escaped my lips as I spoke, "You know that I would never hurt you, Jennie". I grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it. "My only intention was to love you, but you refused my love".

"Because your love isn't something I wanted to get used to, Lisa". She answered truthfully. "You held me down in the most tender ways, but I didn't want to just rely on you like that. I thought independence is a better option, but who was I lying to? I was already so in love with you".

"Was?".

Jennie bit her lip, suppressing a smile, "Guess using past tense in this situation would be a lie too".

I nodded and held her as she turned to look straight ahead, with my arms wrapped around her, protecting her from the slight sight of the wind—the neglecting remedy of the past. Sometimes when two souls meet, they don't immediately realize the connection they have until the other is gone. It's a lost cause of destruction. A chanted breath of mechanism that begins with a subtle tone of the other. There is nothing perfect about love, but every flaw brings it to perfection.

"What are you going to do now?". I asked Jennie.

She was still shaken up by what happened. "I.. I don't know".

"Do your parents know that Woobin isn't aiming to marry you here?".

"No, L-Lisa".

Her broken sobs made my chest hurt.

"They wanted an arranged marriage, not so he can f-fucking sell me to some drug dealers". Her body started to tense again, "Even if I told them, they won't believe me. My parents would rather believe a stranger than their own daughter".

"And If I decide to ditch the wedding, t-they will end up in jail".

She started to panic in my arms again, I pulled her to my chest and whispered; "They can't hurt you, Jennie".

"No, Lisa. They have the power to make me do things, they will hurt me—". I gently pulled away and held her arms, in the most delicate way before looking into the soft brown in her eyes. "Not when I'm still here".