luck | harrison osterfield au

19. june

Next morning started surprisingly positively. I woke up even before my alarm went off and rested in bed before the rush of the day would start. I had my eyes still shut but my mind started to wake up slowingly. As much as it has been full of thoughts and unanswered questions yesterday I laid there feeling rested and with a calm mind. Something was telling me today would be better. I did not know in what way but I chose to believe that unknown voice in my head.

I walked up to the location of the studio where we would work today full of strange hope and expectation. I went through the costuming and makeup quite quickly and was ready to perform my best. All of my favourite people were ready and we could start our shoot.

We went through some scenes and it seemed our director liked how we worked on set together and was pleased by our level of professionalism, which made my heart dance and changed my cheeks into red lakes. I was extremely nervous about working on a project like this when I had barely any experience and her comments made those previous feeling fade away. I found myself getting comfortable on the set and I even cracked a joke or two with the staff. My body was filled with warmth and funny little feelings in my stomach. However, all these feelings and the peace from morning were lost the moment I saw Harrison entering the door of the makeup room during my break.

I caught a glimpse of him before he had the chance to look around the room properly which gave me a chance to observe his features. I was surprised how much they had changed since the last time we spoke. His usually cheerful eyes looked tired and weary with dark circles underneath them, his hair messy and his smile was only a light imitation of his warm and welcoming one. He was looking around the whole room scanning it from corner to corner until he caught me already gazing in his direction. My heart started racing and I began to play with my hands. I was getting ready for our collision. It took him a minute to reach me for I was seated at the opposite side to the entrance door and Harrison had to greet everyone from the cast until he got to me.

"Hi." He said in a tone that was nearly a sigh. I forced myself to make eye contact with him and the only response I was able to come up with was a dumb smile. Very well, Katherine. There was an awkward pause and I swear if the room was not bustling with noise I would hear a pin drop. "Could we have a t-"

"Harrison, I need you to get ready." Rachel interrupted us in the worst possible moment. Harrison looked at her and judging by the expression on her face it was not a particularly loving look. "Did I interrupt something?" Yes, you did although it would be better for Harrison to get ready as soon as possible since he was already running late.

"No," I was surprised by my sudden initiative and turned to Harrison, "we can talk after you get ready." I touched his shoulder lightly and smiled. It was the first moment that I properly looked at him and the bags under his eyes seemed even bigger. Did he not sleep? He took a look into my eyes and a deep sigh left his mouth but the tension in his body seemed to reduce. He nodded and followed Rachel to the dressing room. I stayed in the same place and watched them until they were out of my sight and proceeded to look at the spot where they disappeared. I exhaled. My heart was beating its way out through the rib cage. Maybe it was the right time to figure out what I would tell him.

I walked back to the set bit lost in my thoughts and bit distressed. Where was the peaceful feeling from this morning? 'It's gonna be okay.' I told myself. It would be better if I actually believed it. For now I had to pretend I was okay. Thankfully, acting was a job where pretending was more valued than anything else. So I put on my best chilled face and walked up to a little group formed by Evangeline, Valerie, Terrance and Timothy. They looked as if they were discussing some important topic with their deep looks and furrowed eyebrows.

"Kate!" All the heads turned to me when I joined their little circle. "Thank God, you are finally here." I looked at Evangeline with a confused face. I was not ready for this kind of enthusiastic greeting. "Didn't Harrison look a little different to you today?" She was not beating around the bush.