Corn Flowers And Guitars

21

I wasn't okay at all. I kept telling people I was fine but I wasn't. The break up with Austin was difficult.

I'm currently watching Netflix on my computer in my bed. Austin moved all his stuff out. He came when I was on set one day and moved all of it out.

Austin moved back to California and I'm staying in the same apartment. I Considered selling the apartment but Mads sat with me for hours saying I couldn't sell because things in South Carolina are now really expensive.

I saw on Instagram a couple of days after Austin and me broke up he started dating Kaia.

I found this out by Mads ignoring my question about how Austin was doing and I made her show me the picture.

I told her I was fine but when she left I cried so hard I couldn't breathe. I knew he cheated on me but the picture with Austin and her set me off.

I knew I wasn't over him. I don't think I ever will. I sat in my little library and wrote a letter to him. I wasn't going to send it I was wanted to feel okay that we ended a little bit.

I got a phone call from Mads. "Hey girl so the whole cast just got invited to the Elvis premier and I no if it's to soon I can sit with you and I don't have to go." "Mads I'll go I think I will be alright it's not like I'm going to see him and burst into tears," I said well I don't know if that one is true.

"Okay then by," she said. "Bye." I continued to watch Gilmore Girls for the rest of the night. I was getting kinda cold in my room sense it's 68 degrees with ac on. I headed over to my closet and looked for a sweatshirt.

My sweatshirts were at the bottom of my closet just sitting there and I forgot to put them on hangers. I picked up the stack and went through them. But suddenly when I was getting down to the last couple I found the navy blue sweatshirt of Austin's. He must have forgotten.

I pulled the sweatshirt into my face it still smells like him. My eyes got a little watery. I put the sweatshirt on me and went into the bathroom. In the mirror I saw Me but most importantly I saw Austin and me messing with each other in the bathroom.

That was it, it look me all of 2 seconds to start crying. I've seen him on Instagram in pictures with Kaia. These past few days I've seen him out doing photo shoots with Kaia all over Instagram and I held it in for a long time.

I bottle my emotions it's what I do until I can't anymore. This is the part where Austin would comfort me but he's not here and I'm all myself.

Sorry I haven't been posting as much as I can I started school 3 weeks ago and my brain has been kinda mush lately I will try to update as soon as I can ~ Author