𝑩𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒆 𝒂̂𝒎𝒆 | 𝑺𝒂𝒊𝒅𝒂

33

Forgetting someone you love wholeheartedly is something Dahyun can't do even being a person that everyone believes is capable of doing everything she wants. And that's the problem, she never wanted to forget that's why she can't do it.

It's like tearing your heart into pieces and you are forced to act like it doesn't hurt you at all even though you are in the point of crying blood.

It's like waking up in the middle of the night with fleeting heartbeat that almost made you want to puke, and you'll cover yourself under the sheets for comfort.

It's like screaming out in the open but there's nobody there to hear you.

It's defeaning.

She knows what she's getting into when she decided to let herself be captivated by Minatozaki Sana. She knows what will happen yet Dahyun still chose to do it. And maybe that's very stupid, but could you honestly blame her? She was just in love. She was mesmerized by the thought of coming home and seeing Sana sitting on the couch waiting for her with open arms. Or kissing her soft soft lips that only make Dahyun's knees weak than anything else. Or hear the latter say I love you that does nothing but break Dahyun's heart and mend it again just like that.

It's selfish and unprecedented.

She knows asking for more than what they have is a bit over the top considering they're just having an affair. A scandalous one if she may.

Loving Minatozaki Sana is so many different things.

She's the ease while there's a storm and the warm blanket you wrap around your body. She's the mystery of the hazy forest and the cold fingertips tracing your skin grade by grade. She's the face you love waking up to in the morning, the fulfilment you get as you lay down the asphalt road at midnight in the rain, the sleep to the freezing, she's the voice that whispers scary nothings on your ear but kisses your temple and hugs you from behind.

Minatozaki Sana is scary and comforting.

Minatozaki Sana is the crying in silence.

Minatozaki Sana is Kim Dahyun's definition of love.

Minatozaki Sana is Dahyun's first love.

Kim Dahyun is in love with Minatozaki Sana.

Kim Dahyun will always be in love with Minatozaki Sana.

That doesn't entirely describe Sana as a person or the person Dahyun was and will always be in love with for the rest of her life, but that sure summarizes her entire meaning.

And it hurts. Although Dahyun doesn't want to put Sana in the situation they are in now, it still happened. Consequences are consequences and Dahyun grew tired of it with every decision she makes whether good or bad. So she made up her mind, not for Sana, not for her friends, her father, or anyone in this world, but for herself:

If Sana lets go of her and stops loving her then so be it, but Dahyun will never get tired of telling the world how a beautiful woman changed her entire life.

Her love doesn't end just because it's reciprocated but not comitted to. The love she have for the woman transcends towards the depth of the earth, the vast realm of eternity, and the endless void of the universe.

It may kill Dahyun, but she was willing to die. That's how much she loves Sana.

If there was one thing this cruel world taught Dahyun, it's to not let her guard down no matter how convincing the person is. It's difficult with Sana, because even though Dahyun doesn't want to, her heart does the opposite. And letting Sana see her nakedness was the most beautiful thing that ever happened to her.