I authored this chapter in haste and I don't have the span to re-read it so, please overlook the missteps and grammar mistakes. no proofreading.
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When love beckons to you follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him, Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden. For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.
It is dread, sitting heavy in your lower body, like that time you were nine and broke the vase that great-grandma bequeathed, and you are waiting for your mother to get home.
You know that you are in trouble, but you can't fix it. The vase is too broken.
Heartbreak is a tightness in your chest; it makes you can't bring yourself to put something good inside you. All of your energy is taken up fighting the urge to find yourself in a ball and letting the pain unfurl around you.
You are trying to keep the grief from leaking out of you like thick tar; it will drown you if you let it escape. You keep reminding yourself to breathe and so there is nothing left for any other activity except breathing and keeping the grief contained.
Inevitably, heartbreak is putting on weight.
the air feels like razor blades moving through you. It is thinking you have it together, and crying while waiting for the toast to pop, sobbing inexplicably in the aisles of the supermarket.
It is waking up and having 3 seconds where you don't remember and those 3 seconds will be the only part of the day where the dread doesn't sit like bad Chinese take-out in the lower part of your gut.
this is how taehyung is feeling right now. the rejection is too much for him to handle but the way jungkook reject him was unexpected.
jungkook just slap all the guilt in taehyung's face.
after running away from jungkook taehyung is now sitting on the terrace of his college. it's past lunchtime he didn't have his lunch. he wonders if jungkook notice his absence in the cafeteria or not but again why would he notice taehyung's absence?
as many thoughts running inside his mind, he decides to close his eyes and lean his back against the wall and let his tears flow down his cheeks.
only taehyung knows how much he regrets everything he did wrong to jungkook.
he wants to laugh at himself for expecting jungkook to love him back. he wants jungkook to love him back, to return his feeling but now everything is over.
he can't have jungkook, jungkook isn't his from the start. he didn't lose jungkook because jungkook wasn't his from the to lose.
the thing he wants the most, now he can only have him in his dreams.
at least, in dreams, nobody can snatch his jungkook from him. he can live fully and happily in his dreams.
but no, he wants jungkook in reality. he wants jungkook to be his reality not his dream and this pains him a lot.
thinking or without thinking tears are flowing out of his eyes nonstop. with a sigh, he threw his head back and let the tears drain his pain out which seems actually impossible.
"you know, you shouldn't skip your meals" a husky voice rang in taehyung's ears causing him to snap his head towards to owner of the voice with the speed of light.
"what the hell" taehyung mumbled under his breath, rubbing his eyes not believing jungkook is standing in front of him.
"well for your information I'm real. this is not a movie for me to being only your imagination" jungkook said.
"oh!... yeah... but why do you care if I skip my meals or not?" taehyung asked standing in front of jungkook, gaining his composure after stammering and wiping his tears with the back of his hand.
"in human language, it's called humanity, I guess," jungkook said with a wink which taehyung thought it's only to mock his pathetic self.
"well then there are many students who are skipping their meals not only me" taehyung replied.
"well, jungkook's humanity only exists for Kim taehyung" jungkook said shrugging his shoulders.
butterflies
taehyung felt in his whole body. a happy feeling?
but it has gone as it comes.
jungkook is surely playing with his feeling as he did with him.
"j-jungkook listen please don't play with my feelings and heart... pl-lease I beg you" taehyung plead as tears make their way from his eyes to his cheeks. jungkook chuckled hearing this from taehyung.
"What makes you feel tae I'm playing with your feelings?" jungkook asked becoming suddenly serious and taehyung swear he saw everything broken in jungkook's eyes.
"First you acted like you hate me and all of sudden you act as if you c-care for me, why are you acting like this-s like you ca-care" taehyung said voice breaking at the end of the sentence
"then tell me taehyung how I'm supposed to act when you reject my feeling in front of everyone with a slap. that shit breaks me into pieces taehyung you know in pieces after that I tried with my everything to move on from you.
when I know I can't but still tried and when I at least learn to live with the broken heart, and your rejection. you decided to show up from somewhere and slap your feeling onto my face like I'm a game to you." jungkook spat angrily, he is in rage. he wants his answer.
"i-i-am sor-ry k-kook" taehyung choked on his sob he can't be with himself he is a horrible person.
"WHY... wh-y taeh-yung why n-now" jungkook asked, shaking taehyung by his shoulders painfully. as he let the first tear spill from his eyes.
"I'm s-sorry kook but I... I love you" taehyung said fisting jungkook's leather jacket in his fists.
"Okay, then prove it," jungkook said
"w-what" taehyung mumbled lowly only for jungkook to hear.
"kiss me taehyung as you mean it...... please" as jungkook said these words taehyung was shocked would be an understatement he is beyond shocked.
after taking a good amount of seconds to process what jungkook means by his words. taehyung smiled through his tears.
"my pleasure" with that taehyung smash his lips onto jungkook's with so many emotions and feelings and jungkook quickly responded to taehyung's kiss.
and that was the best feeling they ever felt.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
I did my best to depict what I thought about this scene and if there is a lack of words describing their emotions and feeling. so, 'm sorry but this is only what I can pen when my exams are dancing in my head.
hope you'll enjoy :) do comments and tell me how far you all are liking this book and thank you for 10k reads.
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Fanfiction"Some say it's painful to wait for someone. Some say it's painful to forget someone. But the worst pain comes when you don't know whether to wait or forget. " "I can't have him because he is already taken." Taekook Fanfiction please check it out. ...
