Things I Can't Say Out Loud

Thinking about you again

I look out the window ,the sky is grey.
I did not want to leave the house anyway.
I see leaves falling off the dead tree,
Symbol of happiness,
for it is the one that you grew with me.
It 's like you took it with you ,
On your way to heaven or hell.
It was never the same since the day you left.
I wish I could be here with you as well.
Be it heaven, be it hell, I would be happy.
As long as you are by my side, that is fine with me.
I wish I could have followed you home,
As home is by your side, where I'd never feel alone.
But now you left, leaving a void.
My parents, my friends, anyone, I avoid.
My intention is not to harm them in anyway...
But, I lost my will to live, so ,it might be better this way.
I open the window, tears running down my cheeks,
As a sligh breeze blew on my face.
I wish I could jump, but it's my biggest fear
And my heart starts to race.
I want to reach you, staring back at me, star in the sky.
The problem is, I will never succeed, as I do not know how to fly.
I would fall on the ground and die instead,
As sugested by all the voices in my head.