Things I Can't Say Out Loud

I wish...

I wish I was there,
The day you passed away.
I wish you did not go.
I wish you were never sick in the first place.

I wish I could see what others
See when they see me.
I wish I did not hate myself that much.
I wish I could stop comparing
Myself to others.

I wish I never liked you.
I wish I never fell in love with you,
But at the same time,
I wish I told you.

I wish I never listened to you.
I wish I had followed my dream.
I wish I could have chosen.
I wish you did not want me to
'Keep that door open'.

I wish I could stop hating you.
I wish I never hated you.
I wish I could love you,
Like a normal child should.

I wish we never faught.
I wish I could win against you.
I wish you were not always right.
I wish I was never wrong.

I wish you could accept me
For who I really am.
I wish you could look at me
Without disgust on your face.

I wish my life didn't suck.
I wish the world would stop falling appart.
I wish I could make you proud.
I wish I could pause life,
Just for a minute.

But I, unfortunately, can do nothing
But wish...