Things I Can't Say Out Loud

a list of my flaws

I never listen...

I never do anything right...

I am not smart enough...

I am too lazy...

I am never here when needed...

I am selfish...

I am too emotional...

I cry for no reason...

I make you look bad...

I am self-centered...

I am too big...

I am too slow...

I talk back...

I am too loud...

I am too different...

I am too boyish...

I pick up fights...

I will never change...

I am not willing to change...

This is a list of my flaws,

Those you always tell me I have,

Those that I am always told

I have to change...

Those that make me feel bad

About who I am , everyday...

Those words are those

You use to destroy me...

I look in the mirror

And all I can see

Is a mistake, an error

That you made...

My only flaw is existing...

The only solution I can think of

Is ending it... dying...

I am sorry for not being

The perfect child,

The one that you deserve,

The one that can only exist

In your mind...

The one that deserves love,

The one you could be proud of,

The one that I wish I could be...

Instead of making the big mistake,

Of being me...