Off To Uni! (Written after Nick & Charlie by Alice Osmen)

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen.

Nick:
After hanging out with Mum and Charlie for the day, she says her goodbyes and goes home. This is mine and Charlie's last weekend before he starts school; these weekly visits will only get further apart so I want to make sure we soak up as much time as we can together. Still, I can't help but think about Adam and what he must be going through. I mean, I went through something similar, although not as rough, and I want him to know that I'm here for him. Charlie intertwines our fingers and looks at me as we continue walking to my dorm.

"Thinking about Adam?" He asks.
"I just, can you imagine what that must have been like for him? I can only assume that he thinks his parents wouldn't accept him."
"I mean, I'm sure everyone feels that way about their parents before coming out," he says.
"I was nervous, that's for sure. But scared? Or worried that she wouldn't love me anymore? I don't think that thought ever crossed my mind. I just didn't want her to think of me differently."
"I definitely didn't know how my parents would react. I mean, you know my relationship with my Mum. But surprisingly, it went really well. Probably because they were nervous about the bullying I was getting in school about it. But it's different for everyone. Do you know anything about his family?"

I shake my head. Up until today, Adam and I had a very surface level friendship. We spent a lot of time together, sure, but we didn't get into deep conversations.

"You know, people meet you and just feel the need to come out," I say jokingly.
"Well, I'm only half the reason Adam came out to us," he says.
"But the full reason I came out," I say as I press my lips against his, smiling.
"You're so cheesy," he says, blushing.
"You love it," I reply.

We walk into the room and see Adam pacing back and forth, just like he was before he told me.

"Adam, are you okay? I feel like you're pretty much in the same state as we left you," I say.

Adam quickly looks up at Charlie and me, but continues pacing.

"I shouldn't have opened my mouth."

Charlie walks over to him and leads him to the chair by his desk and squats down next to him so their eyes meet.

"Hey, it's okay. We're here for you. And if you want to pretend like the earlier conversation never happened, we can do that too. Just breathe."

I place my hand on Adam's shoulder and smile at Charlie. His presence is just so calming and I know that Adam feels it too. He looks at Charlie and gives him a small smile.

"Thanks. I really appreciate the both of you being so great with me."
"We've both been there," I say as I look at Charlie.
"The important thing is that you feel okay and comfortable. We'll never bring this up again if that's what you want," Charlie says.

I'm always impressed with Charlie but this is something new. He was always patient with me but we were together. To see him like this with someone who is basically a stranger to him; someone he was freaking out about earlier today, is so unbelievably attractive. Charlie goes to the fridge and gets a water and hands it to Adam.

"Are you feeling better?" He asks.

Adam takes a sip of water and looks at Charlie.

"Yeah, thank you, both of you."
"Can I, I mean, if you don't mind me asking; is there anything in particular that makes you panic like this? Your parents? Friends?" I say with my hand on his shoulder again.

He lets out a bit of a sarcastic laugh.

"Pretty sure my parents would never speak to me again. We are not even allowed to watch TV shows or movies with gay couples in the house."
"Wow. Sounds really ...intense," Charlie says.
"Do you have a good relationship with them?"
"Not really. We don't speak much unless it's about Rugby. Dad was a professional player so it was kind of already in my plans to play before I even picked up a ball."

I sigh. I can't imagine having such a lack of support at home.

"What made you tell Rob?"
"Rob's basically my brother. I tell him everything. I just couldn't bottle it up anymore."
"When's the last time you and Rob discussed it?" Charlie asks.
"Probably two years ago. I just kept shutting him down whenever he wanted to talk to me about it, so eventually he stopped."
"Do you maybe want to talk to him again? He seems like a safe space for you," Charlie says.
"Maybe. I'm actually meeting up with him to go eat dinner, do you guys want to meet up with us after? Maybe we can all talk?"

I look at Charlie and we both smile.

"That sounds great. Just text me when you guys are heading back to his condo," I say.
"Will do! And guys, thank you again," he says as he walks out the door.

Charlie:
Once the door closes, I feel Nick's eyes on me.

"What?" I ask.
"Nothing," he says as he looks away.
"What is it?" I say as I walk over to him.
"I'm just very impressed with how you handled things right now."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean it was beyond attractive how great you were with him. You were caring, thoughtful and knew exactly what to say; to a guy you were freaking out about hours ago."
"Beyond attractive, huh?" I ask with a smirk.
"Is that all you heard?" Nick ask jokingly.
"It's definitely the main thing I heard," I say as I crash my lips into his, causing us to both fall onto his bed.

Nick pulls away from the kiss and runs his fingers through my hair.

"Going to say more nice things about me?" I ask with a smile.
"Just remembering a couple of years ago when someone else was coming to terms with his sexuality and how great you were with him," he says as he kisses the top of my head.
"Well that was clearly because I was benefiting from being there for him," I say as I stick my tongue out at him. "It helped that you were still so incredibly kind and thoughtful while you were figuring out who you were. You never lashed out or made me feel less than you."

Nick pulls me closer to him and smiles.

"Of course I was nice to you. I wanted to date you, silly," he says.
"And look at us now. Two years later."
"And forever to go," he adds.
"Sometimes I can't believe it's only been two years. I feel like we've known each other forever," I say.
"I mean, I definitely feel like my life restarted the day I met you. So in a way, I have known you forever."
"I think you should write greeting cards for Hallmark or something," I say as I feel the blood rushing to my cheeks.
"I thought I was too cheesy," he teases.
"You are. But I love it," I say as I kiss his nose.

Nick lays down and I fall into his arms. I've been with Nick for so long that sometimes I forget just how bad it was before him. I think that's why I knew exactly what to say to Adam; I've been there in a way. Before I was outed, I was always terrified of what anyone would think if they found out. Would my relationship with my mother get worse? Would my dad look at me differently? I knew Tori wouldn't care and Oliver was too young at the time. Would my friends act different? What would everyone at school think? It's crazy to obsess over things that can be so nonchalant to some people. You go to school, have a crush, go on dates, and maybe fall in love, right? If you're straight, it's that easy. Adam reminded me that it's not easy when you're considered different. It wasn't easy for me at first, but I got lucky. I did eventually have a crush in school that turned into dates and falling in love. I squeeze Nick a little tighter remembering how lucky I felt back then and how lucky I still feel to have him. Nick's phone goes off and he looks at me.

"Adam wants us to head over to Rob's. He's ready to talk about everything," Nick says.

I sit up and look at him as I place my hand on his.

"Lets go," I say.
"Adam is lucky to have you in his corner," Nick says.
"Well, I'm lucky to always have you in mine," I say.