Medicine - T. Nott

twenty

January 3rd, 1998

It's a quiet Saturday at Hogwarts. Everyone is either in a post-holidays lull or has decided to keep to their own all weekend because of the cold and snowy weather.

Pansy and Draco are fighting about something so they disappeared back to the Head Boy and Girl dorms awhile ago to go argue with each other. Daphne and Blaise have been attached at the hip since New Years' so they've been locked in the boys' dormitory all day. Theo was sitting with me in the common room earlier but he left to go write and send a letter to his father.

I'm alone and bored, and I've been putting it off for so long, so I pull out my dad's last journal and flip to the last few entries. Part of me never wants to read his last entry before his death, but I know that I should.

-

September 13th, 1980

Alexandria's six months old today. I feel like time is moving so quickly and I want to slow it down a bit so that I don't miss anything. She can sit up on her own now, but I missed it all because the Dark Lord called on me for a mission. He's been taking up too much of my time lately. I knew that this would happen when I took the Mark, but it doesn't mean that I like it. I'm missing too much important stuff by being at his beck and call constantly. If he keeps this up, I'm going to end up missing her first steps.

Every time that I hesitate or want to say no to something, the Dark Lord brings up Alex, he'll threaten something and then I do whatever he wants me to. It's a bit of a pattern now. That's how I got roped into an ambush tomorrow. Our spy, Peter Pettigrew of all people, passed along some information to the Dark Lord that the Order is planning to infiltrate the Ministry tomorrow to try to regain some balance. So the Dark Lord wants us to ambush them.

I really don't want to go. Especially since I got paired with Barty for the ambush. It seems like we're constantly getting paired together for tasks and it's awkward every single time. I try to joke around but Barty just stares at me like he wants to slit my throat.

Now I'm going to help Cordelia put Alex down for the night. I read to her every night.

Evan Rosier

-

I turn the page and it's blank. There's no more pages filled with writing. The last entry is dated the day before he died. After that, there's blank page after blank page.

He didn't read to me ever again, and he did miss my first steps. My dad missed everything.

I quickly flip through all of the pages, hoping to find one more entry, but I'm met with empty pages. I reach the end of the journal and only then do I spot something. Pressed between the pages of the journal is an envelope addressed with Alexandria on it.

I set the journal aside and carefully open the envelop, not wanting to damage anything inside of it.

Inside the envelop is a piece of parchment that feels almost fragile in my hands since it's seventeen years old.

Dear Alexandria,

Do you go by Alexandria? Or just Alex? Your mum only calls you by your full name, but you've always seemed like and Alex to me. Anyways, if you're reading this it means that I never got to live long enough for you to form your own opinions on what you want to be called.

By the time you read this I will already be long gone, probably six feet under unless I end up going out in a not so good way. It's not like I'm planning to die, I want to live, but there's a war going on so I'd hate to leave my daughter with nothing to remember her dad by. If you're reading this it means that I lived a short life with too many missed opportunities.

So here's some advice: First, don't become a Death Eater, it's not worth anything that's promised to you. Two, don't be afraid to fall in love. I spent so much time convincing myself that I didn't love someone only to end up wishing I spent more time loving them. And when you do inevitably fall in love (probably with lots of denial and stubbornness, because you're a Rosier), don't do anything reckless to mess it up. Okay, maybe being reckless is okay sometimes because it got me you. Spend however long your life is surrounded by people who love you, whether they're family or not. Regulus and Barty ended up being better family than my own parents. Three, be with someone who's your best friend.

There's a lot of other things I could tell you like don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs, don't have sex, but I would be a hypocrite. Whatever you do, learn from your mistakes and do better the next time.

I love you, Alex, even though you'll have no memories of me if you're reading this. I know that you're going to grow up to be a good person, one of the few truly good people left. Even when you make mistakes, which you will because you're human, you'll make the most of it.

I'll see you again someday.

Evan Rosier

I feel a hot tear run down my cheek so I wipe it away. I rapidly blink to get the unshed tears to dissipate, and I scan my eyes over the letter.

This is the only thing I have from him that is truly from him. I have boxes in the attic, I have an estate that I've never even visited on the outskirts of London, I have a last name that gets me far, but this is the first thing I have that is actually from my dad.

I didn't even know that I needed to hear those things from him until I did. It makes me wish that I had been able to grow up with a dad like all of my friends did. My mum did a great job, but she's my mum, not my dad.

I feel lighter now.

So I close up the journal and carefully tuck the letter back between the pages when Theo comes into the common room, back from sending off his letter. I smile at him as he comes over to me and sits on the back of the couch.

"You alright?" He asks.

"Yeah, I'm good," I say sincerely.

Theo smiles. "Good, because I was just about to ask you if you wanted to go outside," He suggests.

"Theo, it's snowing," I say.

"Put on your hat and coat," He says. "It'll be fun."

I pretend to think about it for a second before I accio my coat, hat, and gloves.. Theo is already wearing his coat and hat from his trip to the owlery but he accio's his gloves as well. Then he interlocks our hands and we start walking out of the castle.

The grounds of Hogwarts are blanketed in snow, and it's still coming down. The snowflakes are dusting Theo's eyelashes. Once we reach the middle of the hill that overlooks the Black Lake, Theo drops my hand and looks at me.

"Look, it's such a lovely day," He jokes. He peers over at the Black Lake and I take the opportunity to make a snowball and throw it at him.

It hits him in the middle of the chest.

Theo grins at me. "Oh, it's on, Rosier," He teases.

We spend the next fifteen or so minutes throwing snowballs at each other and throwing snow before we're both collapsing back into the snow.

Theo wraps his arms around me and pulls me close to him. Despite the cold, I can feel his body heat through our coats. He kisses the tip of my nose, which is red from the cold, and I smile.

"See, I told you it would be fun," Theo says.

"Oh shut up," I tease.

Theo smiles before he presses my lips against mine.