Medicine - T. Nott

twenty nine

TW Alcohol Use

- - - - - 

Theo and I had a moment earlier today. But it didn't last long, of course. When the rest of our friends came to the common room from their last classes of the day, the moment was ruined. We all went to dinner and Theo and I didn't say anything to each other. We kept making eye contact in the Great Hall. I would always look away first, but Theo would keep looking at me shamelessly.

After dinner, I go change into something else for the party with Daphne and Pansy while the boys set up. I do end up wearing the new boots that my mum gave me. My hair is down and falls to my mid-back. I wear a lowcut, black long sleeve shirt and a black miniskirt.

I'm sitting in front of the mirror doing my makeup when Pansy speaks.

"So are we going to talk about you kissing Theo?" She asks. Pansy watches me in the mirror and I can feel her trying to psychoanalyze me.

"No," I reply. "I was happy and got caught up with everything in the moment."

Daphne laughs, "Okay, whatever you need to tell yourself."

"I'm being serious," I say, raising my voice slightly and trying not to laugh.

Daphne and Pansy drop it after that but I can tell that they're both very opinionated on the matter but refraining for my own sake.

When we go downstairs to the common room a little while later, the party has already started. There's music playing very loudly through someone's stereo, and there are tables full of liquor and beer. I don't recognize the song that's playing but it's quite catchy. I spot Matthew standing with some of his friends and he waves me over.

"Happy birthday," Matt says.

"Thanks, Matt," I say. "I got into the Healer program, I just found out this morning."

Matthew smiles and hugs me. "Congrats, Alex, we all knew you would get in." He pulls away and smirks. "Is that why I saw you kiss Theo in the middle of breakfast this morning?"

"Oh, shove off," I joke.

"Did you make up or make out? Which one?"

I roll my eyes. "Neither," I say.

"Speaking of Theo, you should go talk to him because he's staring," Matthew says. He glances over my shoulder and waves. I turn around just to see Theo wave back. He briefly catches my eyes before I look back at my brother.

I groan, "He's going to be the death of me, isn't he?"

"At least he's pretty," Matt says.

"You're right. See you later, Matt," I say.

Matthew laughs and practically shoves me in the direction of Theo. He's standing by the drinks table with two shots of firewhiskey.

"Hi," I say once I reach Theo.

"Hi," He replies. "You look beautiful."

I feel my cheeks go hot and I glance away so that Theo can't see that I'm smiling. Once I've managed a straight face, I look back at Theo. I like to pretend that he has no effect on me whatsoever, but that's a complete and total lie. He watches me for a few seconds before handing me a shot.

I take the shot from him and follow his lead as he raises his shot glass.

"Happy eighteenth," Theo says as we clink our shot glasses together.

I down my shot and don't even mind that it burns while going down. I set my shot glass back down on the table and Theo watches me, his eyes lingering on me. He's not staring at my body, but he's staring at my face like he's trying to read my thoughts and feelings. I've never quite minded having eyes on me, as long as they're Theo's.

- - - - -

I'm having the time of my life tonight. I'm not drunk by any means, but I'm the perfect level of tipsy where everything is so nice and I feel brave.

I dance with Daphne and Pansy for a bit but then Blaise steals Daphne away to dance. Pansy goes to get another drink and I'm starting to get tired of dancing. So, I spot Theo, who's standing off to the side with a drink. He's talking to Draco but looks up when I walk over.

"Alex," Theo says.

"Can we talk?" I ask. "Alone?"

Draco grins and takes a sip of his drink. "Fucking finally," He mutters before disappearing into a group of people, leaving Theo and me alone.

Theo stares at me and waits for me to speak first.

Normally, I wouldn't ever have the courage to do this, but firewhiskey does wonders for boosting someone's confidence.

"Do you really love me-" I ask Theo.

"Yes," He responds before I even get to finish talking. "I love you, Alex, really."

"Why?" I ask.

Theo tilts his head and looks down at me. "Why? Why do I love you? Do you want me to list my reasons alphabetically or chronologically?"

"Theo," I say, "Stop teasing."

"I'm not teasing. I will go upstairs right now and write out an entire list of reasons why I love you," Theo deadpans.

I stare at Theo, feeling incredibly sober right now.

"I've been in love with you since fifth year," Theo says. I feel like all of the air has been knocked out of my lungs. "Ever since you punched Michael Corner and broke his nose because he was lying and telling everyone that you slept with him. That's when I knew I was a goner."

"You better not be joking," I say cautiously.

"I would take Veritaserum and tell you exactly what I'm saying right now," Theo says. "I'm not joking, I promise." He holds out his pinky.

It's very childish but pinky promises are still a thing to me. I lock our pinkies together, but I don't stop touching Theo's hand. He intertwines his fingers through mine so that we're holding hands.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask.

Theo sighs and briefly looks down at his feet. "Because I was scared, and by the time that I realized the full extent of my feelings and worked up enough courage to tell you, you started dating McLaggen." He slowly raises his hand and gently cups my cheek, acting as if I'm going to break under his touch or refuse his touch altogether. But I don't, I lean into his touch instead.

"And I didn't tell you this year because I was scared to lose you," Theo adds. "I would rather play pretend and be your fake boyfriend than tell you how I felt and risk losing you altogether. But it wasn't pretend, it was real to me too. All of it. "

I lean forward and kiss Theo. He ducks his head down because of our height difference and he gently holds me by the waist. The kiss is soft like we're both afraid to break something. My lips linger on Theo's before he pulls back to look at me.

"I love you, Alex," Theo says. "I've loved you since I was fifteen."

Our lips meet again but this time it's the complete opposite. Theo kisses me hard and I kiss him harder like I'm trying to prove something. His grip tightens on my waist and our bodies mold together as we refuse to let an inch of space between us.