A/N: Thank you for almost 300 reads on "Attention"! I can't put in words how happy these numbers make me. Thank you so, so much!
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⚠️ this story contains topics as eating disorders, body dysmorphia, low self esteem, negative thinking, perfectionism and obsession. please read at your own risk. ⚠️
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Jinah woke up the next day feeling exhausted and cold.
She pulled her quilt over her shivering body while moving her right arm to her nightstand to grab her phone. 04:30 the white numbers on her phone screen read. It was early, way too early.
Jinah slowly sat up. Her pajama top was sliding of her shoulder, but the twenty-year old climbed out of her bed. It was supposed to be a warm June day, but Jinah felt code. She quickly got up and pulled some sweatpants and a hoodie from her wardrobe.
If she was awake, she could go for a run as well.
After getting dressed and brushing her plum colored hair, she exited her bedroom and tip toed to the hallway. She heard the shuffling of Robin's feet behind her and saw the tired Golden Retriever walk up to her.
"Care to join?", she whispered, while Robin bumped her fluffy head against the one of her owner and licked her cheek. "I take that as a yes" Jinah giggled and slowly stood up. She got Robin's leash.
Jinah hid her hands in her sleeves as she and Robin entered the elevator and drove down. The dog yawned. Jinah looked at her. "You could've stayed at home, Rob" she said petting the ears of her fluffy dog. Robin tilted her head and snorted.
"My, my" Jinah rolled her eyes, "are you controlling me?", she asked and held tightly onto the leash. "No need to worry, Robin. I have everything under control."
Jinah was under control. She knew it. She exercised control by restricting the food she ate—or didn't eat. It was one of the only things in her life, that Jinah could control. And she knew, one day or another she would finally be small enough, slim enough and maybe even pretty enough to be loved.
She just wanted to feel special.
"I really pigged out last night" Jinah told Robin as they climbed out of the elevator and walked out of the lobby. "I ate so much. The food wasn't even that good. It was greasy and tasted so bad..." she shivered. "466 calories, can you believe that?", she asked and pulled Robin's leash tighter into her hand before starting to jog down her neighborhood.
She had a slow pace at first, sometimes she made breaks in between for Robin to pee or poo and then she continued to run. Her pace quickened as the sun slowly started to rise above her.
