Angel

Part 12

Lindsey had almost fallen back asleep again. His head lay on Stevie's chest, her fingers combed through his hair, she pressed a kiss here and there every few minutes, the steady beating of her heart kept him calm. He needed this after the night he had and he was happy she was there.

"Where's your girlfriend?" Stevie broke the silence and Lindsey scrunched up his face, his arm tightened around her.

"Seriously? You wanna talk about this now?"

"Well..." Stevie paused and cleared her throat. "She's supposed to be here, not me."

"That's not true." Lindsey disagreed and lifted his head up a bit to plant a kiss on her neck. "Not Carol Ann, not anyone else is supposed to be here."

She smiled weakly and pressed his cheek to her chest again. "Still. She seemed-" Stevie shrugged. "I don't know, not okay. You two had a fight?"

"You could say that." Lindsey really didn't want to get into that. 

"What happened?"

He sighed. "She called me an ass because I didn't want to talk to her then asked if whatever that was bothering me had something to do with you. She started asking me, why do I need her around, I told her, I didn't. Told her to leave." 

"Why?" Stevie frowned, looking down at him. 

"Because I don't need her." Lindsey emphasized. "She's just... She doesn't mean anything to me."

Stevie hesitated to ask for a minute. "How come she's still around then? There must be at least a small part of you that loves her."

"I'm- I'm used to her. I don't love her." Lindsey shook his head, bringing a hand up to Stevie's face. "Can we not talk about this?"

"Why don't you just break up with her?" Stevie kept pushing, he breathed out heavily again and rolled onto his back. "I mean, if there's nothing there, then-"

"She's the only person that makes me feel needed by someone." Lindsey admitted. "Sure, she gets pissed off and we argue all the time, but... she still wants to be with me."

"Linds-" Stevie propped herself up on her elbow and lay a hand on his chest. "I need you. I've told you that like a hundred times tonight."

"Yeah, you do." Lindsey nodded and turned to face her. "When no one else can see it. When it's just the two of us in a dressing room or a hotel room. You hate my guts, when other people are around us. You know, I don't get why? Are you embarrassed to be seen with me or-"

"What, no!" Stevie rushed to disagree. "Of course not. I just... I don't want people to talk, you know. You got together with Carol Ann after our breakup, I haven't exactly been single since then either and if we so much as look at each other and we're not screaming each other, it's-"

"That's just an excuse." Lindsey said. "Everyone's usually drunk or high, they can barely remember their own name. I don't think, they give a shit about what's going on between us."

"You make it sound like you've never done anything wrong." Stevie spoke up somewhat carefully. "Linds, you have said and done some nasty shit to me with our band, our friends around. I know, I've hurt you, but you haven't always made me feel good about myself either." His eyebrows creased, Lindsey kept his mouth shut and for once chose to listen. "When we're in the studio. You're this musical genius and I'm- I'm what exactly? You make me feel like I don't do anything else but offer a couple of my romance poems. I'm sorry, I don't play an instrument. I'm sorry, I can't stay up all night messing with the mixing board. You've mocked the way I dress, the way I dance on stage and I just laugh it off, but it stick with me, you know. So, when you come to me, wanting to be my friend, yes, I tend to get defensive because I never know, what's going to come out of your mouth."

"I've never..." Lindsey trailed off, he shook his head. "I'm sorry I've ever made you feel less than who you are. You're one of the most incredible songwriters I have ever met and that's-" He paused, looking away. "I'm never gonna come close. That's why I do all the other things that I have control over."

"That means a lot." Stevie said, smiling a little. "But you know that you're the most talented person I've ever met, right?"

Lindsey smiled shyly and shrugged it off, opening his arm for her to move in closer. "Is this talking to each other thing actually working?"

"I'd say so." Stevie nodded, chuckling lightly. 

"Good. I'm glad." He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes. "Now, can we finally get some sleep?"

Stevie responded by draping her leg over his and wrapping her arm around his middle. She gave him a peck on the lips and lay her head down on his chest.