Holiday Tomance - ON HOLD

You're awake

The gentle rhythmic beeping woke me and I groggily came too in the strange bed. I opened my eyes and took in my foreign surroundings. Tom was just waking up in a chair next to me. "Where am I? How did I get here?" Waking up properly I started to realise where I was. Why was I in a hospital bed?

"It's ok babe, just relax. You're in hospital, after Dickhead left you passed out. You've been out for a little while. You woke up for a few minutes here and there before blacking out again. How you feeling?"

I shuffled myself in the bed so that I was sitting up. "I feel ok. I do have a massive headache though." I reached over and shakily tried to pour myself a drink of water before Tom pushed my hand away and did it for me.

"I'm not surprised, I was too busy focusing on Bobby to make sure he left and didn't see you pass out. You hit your head as you fell and needed a few stitches. Do you not remember? You were awake for those. They want to do some MRI's and things as well to make sure that you didn't do anything more sinister. You really worried me babe. Has this happened before?" Tom looked tired and concerned even though we had only been here a short while but I hated knowing that I had stressed him.

"A few times. Almost always after an argument with Bobby. Guess we know the common factor now at least, don't we? It's probably just blood pressure or something along those lines. Don't worry about me too much. How long have I actually been in hospital though?"

"The ambulance brought you in just over 2 hours ago. They did the stitches straight away and then you have been zonked out since. I wanted to wake you but apparently now with a concussion you have to let the person sleep. Shirley has rang too and said not too worry about work, just rest up and she has given me a few days off to look after you as well."

Over the next 2 days in hospital I was poked, prodded, pricked and photographed in what felt like hundreds of different ways. Finally the doctor came to see me and Tom, who hadn't left my side for the 2 days that I was here.

"Is it ok if we have a few minutes alone please? I need to speak to Miss Y/L/N." The doctor looked at Tom and waited for Tom to leave. Tom didn't move.

"It's ok. I want him to stay with me. Anything that you have to tell me, he can hear too. Plus if you have bad news to tell me then I want him here with me, he's my boyfriend and pretty much the only person I have." I reached my hand out for Tom's and Tom gladly took it within his own and reassuringly squeezed.

"Well if you are sure Miss Y/L/N. How have you been feeling in yourself lately? Fatigue? Any cramps or nausea?" The doctor started quizzing me. Tom looked at me confused and his confusion was shared.

"I feel fine other than the blacking out. Now you mention it I have been tired a lot but I have just started a new job along with my writing and didn't sleep properly for a few months so now I am sleeping ok, I am sleeping more than normal especially over the last week or so. Doc can you just tell me what is wrong? You are really panicking me." I could feel the tears starting to choke me up.

"The blood tests that we ran show that you have a slightly heightened level of human chorionic gonadotropin in your system. Your levels are showing at 5 to 75ml meaning that you are approximately 2-3 weeks gone. Too early for you to have many symptoms and also too early for a standard at home test to give you a positive." Tom looked at the doctor as confused as I was feeling waiting for him to continue. "When was the last day of your last period?"

My eyes widened in horror at what the doctor was telling me, telling us. Tom looked at me, his eyes wider in shock than mine as he realised what the doctor was saying to us. "I don't know, um, I think I'm due to start in the next few days. I have it written down in my diary at home." I looked over at Tom who still hadn't said anything.

"I can't do this. I can't be a Dad. We've known each other 3 weeks." And with that Tom ripped his hand away from mine, got up and left my side for the first time since I was admitted.

The doctor looked at me as I started to cry. "I assure you Miss Y/L/N, you will be fine no matter what you decide to do. I have some leaflets here informing you as to what your next steps are and your choices as well as your discharge papers. I'll get a nurse to come and remove your cannula in the next few minutes. Do you have anyone who can take you home?"

I felt paralysed and numb. "Thanks." I reached forward to take the paperwork from the doctor. "I can ring a cab. Am I able to get dressed and leave now then? I want to get home."

The doctor nodded, offered to call me a cab and left the room. My heart felt heavy. The one thing I wanted was a child and after I lost mine and Bobby's baby I didn't think that it would ever happen for me. Let alone with someone who I had only known for a few short weeks.

I got myself changed, got my cannula removed, made sure I had all my stuff together and made my way outside to wait for my taxi before making the lonely journey back home to the campsite.