Holiday Tomance - ON HOLD

Opening up

TW - talk of death and mild talk of abuse and alcohol abuse

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That night Tom and I sat and spoke for a few hours. We discussed any insecurities and issues that we both had about the future and Tom finally opened up a little bit more to me about his past. "A family is something that I have always wanted but when you first came here this was just going to be a bit of fun. Yet we both fell for each other hard and quick which was a shock in itself. I always thought that I would do things properly. Fall in love, get married and then have kids when we had a stable home and job. I can't see myself working here forever, can you?"

I took a few seconds to think. "As much as I love it here, I can only see myself doing it for now alongside my writing and maybe even for the next few seasons but only while baby is young. But then again it would be a perfect job for when they are at school. It's definitely not a lifetime job but it isn't something we need to think about right now as we have 8 months until baby is even here and I would like to think that Shirley will allow me a little bit of time off even though it will be round about June that I give birth."

Tom took a deep breath in and blew out his cheeks so they puffed out like a hamster storing snacks. He closed his eyes as he exhaled. "That makes it feel a little more real, doesn't it? I have some contacts on one of the other sites so during closed season I will be doing a few odd jobs for them which will bring in some extra money. They may have some extra laundry shifts if you want to pick them up? A lot of their staff go home and they call on me and Kai and last year Jade and Ruth to help out with getting their vans ready for opening. Shirley doesn't normally mind me doing that to help them out during closed season as it means she doesn't pay me as much but everything still gets done."

I smiled at the thought and knowledge that he was now thinking long term. "There is one issue though Tom, what are we going to do for a place to live? This caravan is ok for me and for us together but it isn't really ideal for a baby is it?" The happiness was now starting to subside a little as I realised that was going to be a big problem for us.

Tom kissed the top of my head before he started talking again. "Leave it with me, I have an idea. It wouldn't be permanent but it would certainly do until the end of next season at least." I looked at him feeling a little perplexed and with no idea as to what it was that he was thinking. "Just leave it to me, do you not think over the last few days I have not had plenty of time to think about things like that?"

"Is it really what you have been thinking about over the last few days?" I felt a little shocked.

"As I said to you before I always knew I would come back to you, I just needed time. I am not my Dad and I think that it is about time that I told you about him and why I don't ever want to be like him." I looked at Tom and stayed quiet so that he could continue, he had never mentioned his parents before so it was nice to know that he was willing to open up to me. "Basically, I didn't really know my Dad. My Mum made sure that once he left he didn't see me again. He was an abusive drunk and while pregnant with me he only got worse and then when I was born my Mum feared that when I was old enough he would start on me. She told him that he had a choice to make, she said he either gave up the alcohol or gave up his chance of a family. He decided that I wasn't worth giving the alcohol up for." Tom sniffed and I shuffled closer to him so that I could hold him.

"How old were you? Have you really never seen him since?"

"I was about 18 months apparently when he left. Mum said that he tried a few times to get sober but he would just relapse worse than before because he was never really willing to ask for the help that he needed to stay on the wagon. I saw him once, beginning of the season he came here with his new family. He has a wife and another son now,cute kid. He's 10, name's Jacob Thomas. I knew it was my Dad as I recognised the name and also the tattoo on his forearm. Thomas is kind of a family name too, Mum offered me the chance to change it but when Dad left his Dad, Thomas, stepped up and helped my Mum and then took care of me once Mum died." I gasped, Tom had never told me about his Mum before.

"Why didn't you tell me your Mum has passed? I didn't know that. Where's your Grandad now?"

"I suppose I was just waiting for the right time. I was 9 and she was walking home one night from work, it was late and, how's this for irony, she was hit by a drunk driver. As for my Grandad, he died January last year, so all I really had was Ruth. Hence why when I saw the opportunity to live and work here and thought it was a great way to have a fresh start so I grabbed it with both hands. To be honest I thought that the whole family thing was going to be me and her and before you I thought that I would never have the chance again. Have you never noticed that I don't drink?"

"Oh babe, I am so sorry that you have been through all of that. Thank you for telling me though. As for drinking, I have seen you drink beer before so I am a little bit confused by that." I tried to figure things out as Tom got up and walked towards the fridge and pulled outa bottle of beer before bringing it over to me.

"Alcohol free. I like the taste of it but not the effects that it has on people. That is also why when you have a bottle of wine, I never drink any of it. Anything else that you want to ask me?"

 "There is actually. If we have a boy, can we have Thomas as his middle name?" Tom grabbed me and kissed me deeply and passionately. "Should I take that as a yes then?" Tom nodded as he sniffed back a few tears.